"Families are the most beautiful things in all the world" according to Louise May Alcott, but they're also a marital minefield.

We're diving into some spicy conversation for you in Episode 5: that of Family and In-laws. Whether you're experiencing total elation or utter despair around the lead-up to your wedding day, we can guarantee that you or your partner's families are involved. What happens when the wedding starts to feel more like your mother's party than your own? How has family involvement in weddings changed over the years? What happens when your family and your husband's family differ in religious beliefs? The Thing About That covers the thorny, guilt-ridden issues of juggling all the people you love most in the world in the lead up to your big day.

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Series 1, Episode 5 length: 47 mins 12 seconds

In-laws differing in their ideas about your wedding (00:47)

• What happens when your mother or mother-in-law sees this as a party for them more than for you
• Expectation vs reality for people who ultimately don’t get to have a final say in this. Social expectations of taking on the role of “in-law” or “mother-of-the-bride”
• How the role of parents in a wedding have changed over the decades. Weddings used to be for the parents, a “coming out party”

The pressure to please others (07:12)

• Wanting other people to have the wedding experience that they’ve always dreamed of.
• What happens when you’re paying? How to know when to put your foot down and say no to something.

When a joyful event ends up making you sad (12:07)

• Frustration at people around you and guilt at making people you love sad.
• When family being around for a wedding is one of your primary reasons for doing it, “I want it to be a positive experience for them so much, maybe too much.”
• Disagreement over money. Emotion turns small issues turn into big confrontations.

How emotionally invested friends are in your wedding (17:47)

• From judgement to care.
• Having been a guest and a bridesmaid before, it makes it much harder to be blasé about decisions now.

Church VS Non-Church (22:03)

• What happens when an atheist and a Christian want to get married? Where do you do it?

Families coming to terms with a fast engagement (26:15)

• How a quick relationship leaves family members lagging behind
• Throw the rule book out the window. Your wedding should be whatever it can be and whatever you want it to be.

Shifting sibling relationships (28:33)

• How do siblings see it as an opportunity to bond, what role do they want to play?
• What if you want a sibling to be more involved than they want?
• Does your marriage take over an existing relationship with a family member?
• Guilt around not playing the role of “the single one” in your family or friendship group anymore.

Easy in-laws (43:10)

• Counting your blessings when the in-laws are easy or your parents and your in-laws get on

Extended family as guests (44:42)

• Where do you draw the line? What is there are tricky family dynamics?

Thank you for listening!