Breaking the Rumination Cycle | Trey De La Torre

My Healing Village

04-08-2022 • 33 minutos

When we're with a toxic or narcissistic person,  what we may not necessarily be consciously aware of is that we are in a constant state of heightened anxiety.  – Trey De La Torre

Going through an abusive or toxic relationship is painful and exhausting as it is. The awful cycle and patterns of abuse and manipulation may take a toll on our peace of mind and general well-being. And since healing is not linear, it is natural for survivors of this kind of relationship to experience going back and forth in the process of breaking free, letting go, and attaining closure.

For some, acknowledging the things that went wrong in the relationship and putting pieces together to see a bigger picture can help them forgive and move forward. However, there are others who exert so much effort in trying to understand the behaviors of their abuser to the point of constantly and obsessively thinking about the person. These excessive, repetitive, and unhealthy patterns of trying to make sense of their whole experience are acts of ruminating.

If you feel like you are trapped in this kind of vicious cycle, know that it is okay and that you are not alone! Keep an open mind, be willing to break habits, and reach out to people who can help you.

Learn more from our guest, Trey De La Torre, who is both a survivor of a narcissistic relationship and a mentor. He aims to coach others in developing the discipline and commitment to carry out healthier habits and self-care routines that will guide them in breaking the rumination cycle.

Healing Points of This Episode:

  • Breaking the rumination cycle may take a lot of time, work, and conscious effort.
  • You need to have the discipline and commitment to be able to break free from unhealthy patterns and compulsive behaviors.
  • Trying to make sense of an abusive relationship may lead you to obsessive and repetitive thinking which affects your mental health.
  • Developing healthier habits to end the rumination cycle can be a form of self-care.

Words of Healing:

  • There really is no closure. You have to give it to yourself. They're not gonna give it to you. – Regina Marie
  • If I have all this time and all this energy to be focused on what he's doing, what's he lying about, who's he doing this with, and where is he at…that means I have all this extra time and energy. And now I have to teach myself how to reshift that energy back into myself and to take care of myself. – Trey De La Torre
  • There's always some kind of negative connotation that happens when you're taking care of yourself. And so the first thing you have to do, or for me, was I had to give myself permission to take care of myself. – Trey De La Torre

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