No Not the Mind Probe: A Doctor Who podcast

Porter Mason & John Grant

A Doctor Who fan and his friend rank every episode ever, from the new series and the old. read less
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In One Portal and Out the Other – "The Woman Who Lived" & "The Horns of Nimon"
25-11-2024
In One Portal and Out the Other – "The Woman Who Lived" & "The Horns of Nimon"
OK, invasion force! Everyone through the portal! No pushing! Let's be orderly while we invade. And please: get on your lion and/or bison masks! Let's look sharp coming through this portal!

Episodios

In One Portal and Out the Other – "The Woman Who Lived" & "The Horns of Nimon"
25-11-2024
In One Portal and Out the Other – "The Woman Who Lived" & "The Horns of Nimon"
OK, invasion force! Everyone through the portal! No pushing! Let's be orderly while we invade. And please: get on your lion and/or bison masks! Let's look sharp coming through this portal!
I'm Just a Girl in the World – "The Girl Who Died" & "Marco Polo"
11-11-2024
I'm Just a Girl in the World – "The Girl Who Died" & "Marco Polo"
These Doctor Who stories are passing the Bechdel test left and right! Two tales that center around young girls with big imaginations.
Water You Thinking? – "Under the Lake/Before the Flood" & "The Underwater Menace"
02-11-2024
Water You Thinking? – "Under the Lake/Before the Flood" & "The Underwater Menace"
We take the podcast down where it's hotter, under the water. Forget your troubles. Life is the bubbles. Under the sea.
You Gotta Exterminate the Positive – "The Magician's Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar" & "The Daleks"
23-09-2024
You Gotta Exterminate the Positive – "The Magician's Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar" & "The Daleks"
Davros and the Doctor: the original odd couple! Oh, when will these two crazy kids realize that they're not enemies? They're in LOVE, God damn it! Sweet, beautiful love! Also, the first ever Dalek story.
The Who That Dreams are Made Of – "Last Christmas" & "Kinda"
11-03-2024
The Who That Dreams are Made Of – "Last Christmas" & "Kinda"
We consider whether this entire podcast is real, or just a vision in John's little snowglobe. Meanwhile, the Twelfth and Fifth Doctor do battle across the dreamscape, in a pair of the best stories we've ever watched in one episode!
Just a Hopeless Ro-bo-mantic – "Dark Water/Death in Heaven" & "The Invasion"
26-02-2024
Just a Hopeless Ro-bo-mantic – "Dark Water/Death in Heaven" & "The Invasion"
Danny Pink: we hardly knew ye. Seriously. We didn't really ever get a chance to know you. But now you're gone! And you do go out with a bang. Plus, we finally see who the hell this Missy character is. Also: a half-great story from years past with all the trappings that Porter loves.
The Doctor and the Beanstalk – "In The Forest of the Night" & "The Seeds of Doom"
29-01-2024
The Doctor and the Beanstalk – "In The Forest of the Night" & "The Seeds of Doom"
This episode you're going to want to watch in full sunlight, and make sure to surround yourself with a health amount of peat moss. The Doctor takes on nature's greatest scourge: PLANTS. Break out your hedge clippers, people!
Honey, I Shrunk the Doctor – "Flatline" & "Planet of Giants"
16-01-2024
Honey, I Shrunk the Doctor – "Flatline" & "Planet of Giants"
In what is clearly an homage to the iconic Rob Schneider SNL sketch, "Tiny Elvis", we check in on two episodes where the Doctor deals with shrinkage.
Just One of the Sarcophagi – "Mummy on the Orient Express" & "Pyramids of Mars"
01-01-2024
Just One of the Sarcophagi – "Mummy on the Orient Express" & "Pyramids of Mars"
Always listen to your mummy. Unless they are intent on strangling you to death. The Twelfth and Fourth Doctor both explore Egyptology in two classic episodes.
Goodnight, Moon – "Kill the Moon" & "The Moonbase"
18-12-2023
Goodnight, Moon – "Kill the Moon" & "The Moonbase"
The Twelfth Doctor puts the big decision onto Clara and the human race. The Second Doctor amuses himself with a comb, and a brush, and a bowl full of mush. And some Cybermen.
Artificial Who-telligence – "The Caretaker" & "The War Machines"
04-12-2023
Artificial Who-telligence – "The Caretaker" & "The War Machines"
Global thermonuclear war. It's not a game. But it sure makes for a lot of excitement! John and Porter take a look at a couple of episodes where the Doctor stops Earth from being annihilated.
Honor Among Thieves – "Time Heist" & "The Ribos Operation"
20-11-2023
Honor Among Thieves – "Time Heist" & "The Ribos Operation"
We're getting the whole gang back together for one last score. John and Porter take a look at a couple of episodes using heist plotlines.
It's All Relative – "Listen" & "The Massacre"
06-11-2023
It's All Relative – "Listen" & "The Massacre"
A unique Peter Capaldi story (where once again we see Clara is the key to all things at all times) is matched with a missing First Doctor story about French history. Oui oui!
Kings and Things – "Robot of Sherwood" & "The Crusade"
23-10-2023
Kings and Things – "Robot of Sherwood" & "The Crusade"
Ooo de lally! It's Robin of the 'hood! Clara gets to live out a childhood dream meeting Nottingham Forest's famous do-gooder. And we watch/listen to a classic story taking a look at what Kind Richard was doing during the same time.
Good Things Come in Who Packages – "Into the Dalek" & "The Invisible Enemy"
09-10-2023
Good Things Come in Who Packages – "Into the Dalek" & "The Invisible Enemy"
It's a meet-cute! The Twelfth Doctor meets a Dalek! And the Dalek is ADORABLE. A nice Dalek? Is it possible? The Doctor and Clara head inside the Dalek itself to see for sure.
It's Made of People – "Deep Breath" & "The Talons of Weng-Chiang"
25-09-2023
It's Made of People – "Deep Breath" & "The Talons of Weng-Chiang"
It's a new Doctor AND John's favorite classic episode ever! Peter Capaldi shows up and... it's fine. But it's going to get way better!
And So This is Christmas – "The Time of the Doctor" & "Attack of the Cybermen"
04-09-2023
And So This is Christmas – "The Time of the Doctor" & "Attack of the Cybermen"
It's time for us to bid adieu to the wonderful Matt Smith. And also watch a crappy Cybermen story with a whole lot o' Peri.
The Gang's All Here – "The Day of the Doctor" & "The Five Doctors"
21-08-2023
The Gang's All Here – "The Day of the Doctor" & "The Five Doctors"
It's basically a Doctor Who version of the Spider-Man meme, as we have both the 50th and the 20th anniversary specials featuring all sorts of Doctors, real and fake.
Remembrance of Who's Past – "The Name of the Doctor" & "Remembrance of the Daleks"
07-08-2023
Remembrance of Who's Past – "The Name of the Doctor" & "Remembrance of the Daleks"
We learn the name of the Doctor?! Turns out it's "Cornelia". They've always just been really embarrassed by it. Also, Clara is the center of all things. No big deal.
Silver Smiths – "Nightmare in Silver" & "The Wheel in Space"
25-07-2023
Silver Smiths – "Nightmare in Silver" & "The Wheel in Space"
The guys check in with the Cybermen to see what they're up to. It turns out, they are mainly up to assimilating all organic matter into their single-minded robotic existence. So, you know, normal stuff.