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Ep.25 - Carlton Win a Nail-Biter, Collingwood Hold off the Dees & More!
13-09-2023
Ep.25 - Carlton Win a Nail-Biter, Collingwood Hold off the Dees & More!
https://youtu.be/VZocaFe0Nms AFL weather alert: Orange Tsunami inbound. AFL commentator alert: there are two teams playing, even if one of them is not from Victoria. Welcome back to AFL from LA. I am your host, Cindye, and I am standing outside of the world famous comedy club, The Laugh Factory, where everyone from Jim Carrey to Jerry Seinfeld have performed. Collingwood v Mebourne Sure, the Pies beat Melbourne in the first qualifying final, but the real winner of the game was footy itself, because a true sporting visionary has been confirmed. Simon Goodwin. First, Goody alerted us to the evils of tagging when his star midfielder, Clayton Oliver, was unfairly pantsed by Hawthorn's Finn Maguniness. A crime against football, really. Now he's shone a vital light on how footballers must, in a split second, stop mid air, not brace for contact, and must know if the player they might make contact with has ever suffered from a concussion. This is next level thinking, people! It's not important when Goody said Maynard left the ground and knocked a guy out that he left out the part that Maynard left the ground to smother a kick. Goody sees the game in 4D, like Neo dodging bullets in _The Matrix_! And, Goody pointed out how the Dees beat the Pies in every single statistic. Sure, maybe not on the scoreboard, but that's not important. I just want to applaud Simon Goodwin for not only being a gracious sport and a visionary, but for having the best interests of our game at heart. Bravo, Goody. I can't wait to see what bullshit, I mean gems, you come up with next week after your do or die game against Carlton.  Carlton v Sydney Best on ground? Blake Acre's fingertips. The recruit of the year's precious digits denied not one, but two goals, sealing a thrilling one goal win for the Blues over the Swans. Psst, Melbourne, if I were you, I would be targeting Acre's fingertips from the opening bounce this Friday. The Blues Swans final had it all. Blurry score reviews. BT calling it. And players running recklessly into each other's fists. Come on! What was Jack Martin _supposed_ to do? I really thought the Swans were gonna learn from watching the Dees that bombing it long inside 50 and kicking at 39 percent accuracy wasn't the game plan to go with. But Longmire's boys said, [bleep] Cindye! and put it down the Blue's defenders throats all night, giving Weitering, Marchbank, and Newman a serious case of leather poisoning. _Hello, Newman_. It was the Blues first finals win since 2013, built on the back of contested ball brutality, courtesy of midfield beasts, Cerra, Hewett, and Walsh. And how great was Sexy Saad? Five intercept possessions in the last quarter alone. Opposition fans really need to stop booing him every time he kicks the ball. The Blues go into Friday night's game without Jack Martin and Big Harry. But the Baggers have the midfield muscle to go toe to toe with the Dees. Plus the firepower up forward to kick a winning score. Can't say the same for you, Dees. So if I had to make a prediction right here and right now, I'd say the Blues are gonna do something they haven't done since 1995. Win back to back finals games.  St. Kilda v GWS The Giants outclassed the Saints and broke the hearts of Channel 7 commentators to win at their 11th different venue this year and set up a semi final showdown against the Power in Adelaide. But let's keep talking about St. Kilda. Right, Jobe and Luke? Okay, I will. A list full of passengers. A boring, ultra defensive brand of footy. A forward line that regularly goes missing. There was a Giants chant going around the MCG of all places, and they were still reviewing St. Kilda's season. I thought this was the _Australian_ Football League. Where's the interstate representation? Can you imagine if the NFL was controlled by, let's say, Texas. And most of the teams were _in_ Texas. And most of the commentators were _from_ Texas. And the Superbowl was only ever played _in_ Texas.
Ep.23 – Carlton’s Unstoppable Run, West Coast’s Upset of the Year & More!
23-08-2023
Ep.23 – Carlton’s Unstoppable Run, West Coast’s Upset of the Year & More!
https://youtu.be/aDzZuQN2M7Q The Sydney Swans are celebrating a fiercely fought, much deserved win over the... Wait, what? The Swans didn't win? Ben Keays didn't hit the post? Every angle showed it? Then why wasn't the decision overturned? But that means the Crows were robbed! Sigh. Welcome back to AFL from LA. I'm your host Cindye, and I'm coming to you from, well, my living room. We've been forced inside. Damn you, Hurricane Hillary. And we just had an earthquake.  Collingwood v Brisbane Deven Robertson crushed it on Instagram, while his Brisbane Lions teammates crushed the Pies. The Pies and the Lions both sit on 124, while Robertson's Insta followers are at 32,000 and GROWING. The Pies have lost 3 of their last 4 games. They've also conceded 100 plus points in their last 3, something they have not done since 2008. In plain English, I just happened to learn this new word, Colliwobbles. Before you come for me, Magpie Army, I actually learned that from a Carlton fan, who told me, Sure, the Pies had 3 of their best 22 out, but Carlton has been winning with six of their best 22 out. Colliwobbles or not, there's no denying it's been a less than stellar month for the Pies. The Lions, on the other hand, have won eight of their last ten. And if they win their next three games at the GABBA, it's off to the MCG for the big dance. And that right there is the problem. M. C. G. Sorry, Lions fans, but I just don't see you doing it.  Gold Coast v Carlton The Blues are playing finals for the first time in 10 years. The Baggers came from 7 goals down, slathered in more SPF 50 than Ironman Australia, to beat the Suns by 4 points and go 9 in a row! You haven't done that since 2000! And can we all just hail King Charles? 5 goals, 9 score involvements, the Coleman practically wrapped up, full forward and full back of the year. I mean, did you see that game saving mark? The Curled One has taken his game to a whole new level in 2023. Next year, I'm thinking his own shampoo line and a bicep workout. And George Hewett? Great again. Nic Newman? A lazy 31 touches and 9 intercepts. Hello, Newman. And Mr. Paddy Dow? I mean, his last three games might even have... Sam Walsh looking over his shoulder. Look, the Gasballs were awesome for three quarters. They smashed the Blues in clearances and came so close to snatching those four points. I know you've heard that “they're going to be so great next year” line before, but with a triple premiership coach about to take the reins, a red hot midfield, and a wave of young talent, I think every team's gonna need an extra layer of SPF 50 next year.  Adelaide v Sydney The Sydney Swans are buying every lottery ticket available after a goal umpire decided not to use the goal review system that the AFL has so fiercely defended. Adelaide's final hopes are over because the AFL refuses to correct a mistake. That's like being fined for speeding when the dash cam shows your car is parked. I don't even blame the goal umpire. He's just trying to do his job. I blame the system for being so ridiculously stupid. Ben Keays kicks the goal of his lifetime. Adelaide was celebrating an all time great sporting moment. And the AFL? Eh, they did their signature move. Rolled out the boss to say a few words. Let's all commend Gil and the boys for their commitment to the past, while the rest of the sporting world embraces 4K, video assistant referees, and advanced goal line technology. Review complete. Looking at these angles, there is insufficient evidence to determine whether the AFL will be stepping into the 21st century anytime soon. Decision on the scoreboard.  Shoutout to GWS A big, big shout out to the boys in orange. What a performance! Whatever happens next week, I know one thing's for sure. 2024 is going to be an even bigger, bigger sound. Western Bulldogs v West Coast Harley Reid's glittering 200 game Brownlow medal winning career at the Eagles is over before it even began.
Ep.22 – Collingwood Overcome the Cats, Demons Get Slayed by Carlton & More!
16-08-2023
Ep.22 – Collingwood Overcome the Cats, Demons Get Slayed by Carlton & More!
https://youtu.be/akIw0Xuj3zs The only thing that could have been bigger than the Carlton Melbourne game was if the Blues had been playing the Matildas. What a game! 70, 000 at the G, finals like intensity, and more tackles than a Black Friday sale at Kmart. 173. Welcome back to AFL from L. A. I'm your host, Cindye. I'm here on Fairfax Avenue. It was once the home of businesses that catered to the Jewish community. And now it has become the mecca of street wear. But don't worry, after you get those kicks, you can still go over to Canter's Deli and get yourself a pastrami on rye. Hawthorn v Bulldogs The Hawks are causing more upsets than a dodgy seafood buffet. First, the Pies last weekend, and now the Bulldogs. Are the Hawks the best 16th place team ever? Psst, Sam, can we get you to come and help rebuild the Eagles next year? And is Jai Newcombe the best midseason pickup ever? I've never seen anyone break so many tackles. Newcombe racked up 40 touches and 10 goal assists. And went at 85% efficiency. Last year, he polled 12 Brownlow votes. This year, I got a feeling he's gonna double that. And with him and Will Day in the midfield, I think the Hawks could be eyeing some serious silverware in the next five years. But let's talk about the Dogs for a sec. What the hell was Tim English doing taking that final kick in? Are you telling me they don't have a plan for when they're a kick behind with only a minute to play? To me, Bevo is impossible to work out. He won them a flag in '16 and got them to the grand final in '21, but if you ask me what the Dog's brand is, couldn't tell ya. The Dogs have their biggest test of the year coming up. The Eagles at Marvel Stadium. Come on, I'm an Eagles fan. If I can't laugh, I'm gonna cry. Take two. The Dogs have their biggest test of the year coming up, Geelong in Geelong. If they don't get their act together by then, 2023 is going to be another wasted year for a very talented list. Collingwood v Geelong  If you told me that Jezza was going to kick seven and Darcy Moore was going to be out in the first quarter, I would have easily put a hundy on the Cats. And if you would have told me that two of Jezza's goals were going to come from umpire howlers, I would have shrugged and said, sounds about right. How did those umps not see those? And how did Murphy and Maynard not get cited for dissent? Oh, that's right, because dissent is dead. The Pies ended their long suffering two game losing streak to all but wrap up the minor premiership for the first time in 12 years. But things were looking shaky in the first. The Pies, who concede on average 28 points per game from stoppages, conceded 32 in the first quarter alone. But led by Josh Daicos, Lipinski, and Adams, the Pies came storming back, booting a blistering 6 in the third, and maintaining a pressure rating of 200. Alright, who's gonna tell me what the hell that means? Seriously, what does it mean? In plain English, the Pies laid 65 tackles up to three quarter time. They killed the Cats on transition, and forced more errors than your dad trying to use FaceTime. The Cats look cooked to me, while the Pies are still the team to beat. And with their last two games against the Lions and the Bombers, there's not a chance in hell they're losing first place from here.  Carlton v Melbourne That's eight in a row for the Baggers, who have now almost, almost, secured a spot in the finals. Cripps and Hewett? Absolutely huge. Paddy Dow? Probably his best game ever. And Charlie? With those two goals, he's got one hand on the Coleman. The Dees fans are screaming about that score review, but one decision does not make a game of footy. And the Blues played well enough to be in front with 40 seconds to go, so... What's most impressive about the Blues is that they've now beaten Collingwood, Melbourne, Port, and the Eagles. Vossy's got his boys humming at exactly the right time. And with two winnable games coming up,
Ep.21 - Carlton Go 7 Straight, the Eagle's “Winning” Loss & More!
09-08-2023
Ep.21 - Carlton Go 7 Straight, the Eagle's “Winning” Loss & More!
https://youtu.be/8J60o1dcSPM I felt horrible hearing the news about Nick's injury. Six weeks out is going to put a dent in Collingwood's premiership chances and rob us all of seeing a young superstar on the park. I'm wishing you a speedy recovery, Nick. And here's a memo to all AFL commentators. Maybe now you can ease up on all the non stop Nick talk. He's a generational talent and a humble young man. But you're only going to make the neutrals resent him with all your non stop coverage. Give the kid a break.  Welcome back to AFL from LA. I'm your host, Cindye. I finally made it to the Griffith Observatory. Famous movies such as Rebel Without a Cause, The Terminator, and La La Land were filmed here. Western Bulldogs v Richmond The Bulldog's 55 point victory was their biggest of the year, their biggest over the Tigers in 13 years, and the biggest snoozefest I've had to sit through since _The Flash_. Seriously, what's up with the Tigers and Marvel Stadium? They show up about as often as Harold Holt at a beach party. Is it that grueling eight minute drive? In the first quarter alone, they conceded 9 goals. I mean, even Rory Lobb scored a point. Have to give full credit to the Bulldogs, though. They came back fighting after their loss to the Giants last week. Hi, Tobes. With Libba continuing his career best season, and the Bont reminding everyone whose name is going to be etched on the Brownlow. Take it easy, Pies fans. I heard plenty from you guys last week after my comments on the fixturing. The Tigers are now languishing in 13. And, wait for it, they play the Saints next week at Marvel Stadium. Not sure how Tigers fans are feeling about having to revisit the dreaded Docklands next week, but I have a sneaky suspicion that the Saints fans are thinking they have a real chance.  Essendon v Eagles Eagles fans have never been more relieved to lose a game by one point. North Melbourne fans, on the other hand, are crying in their beers. Yes, the Eagles snatched Harley Reid from the jaws of victory against the Bombers at Marvel Stadium. Apart from the lousy second quarter, where the Dons kicked six goals to two, Simmo's boys booted more goals than their opponents, laid more tackles inside 50, but lost the free kick count 22 to 12. Take your pick for which was the worst non decision. Noah Long being taken out in front of goal? Oscar Allen being blocked in the dying moments? Or how about that ball up that went straight to the Bomber's ruck and resulted in the winning goal? I know footy's hard to umpire, and I know it's a thankless job, but they've got four of them out there now, and they're still having a worse season than the Eagles. A big shout out to Elliot Yeo, who was a rock in defense during the last quarter. And Tim Kelly, who's 30 disposals, 5 clearances, and 7 score involvements, practically sealed him for this year's B&F. And how about those baby Eagles? Hewett, Chesser, Long, Maric. Just 40 games between them, but you can already feel what the next 40 are going to be like. Combine that with West Coast's hand at this year's draft, and the return of guys like Liam Ryan, Jai Culley, and Jamaine Jones next year, I'm forecasting sunnier skies and anything but an 18th place finish next year for the Blue and Gold.  Hawthorn v Collingwood It was a bold decision by the Pies not to play a midfield against the Hawks, with Sam Mitchell's boys winning center clearances by an incredible 18 3. I don't know who was more impressive. Newcombe, Worpel, and Day in the center? Sicily down back? Breust and Lewis up front? Finn Maginness for his job on Nick Daicos. Finn clung to the superstar like glad wrap, allowing him just five touches for the game. Two of which came from free kicks and one from a kick in. The Pies have the Cats and the Lions at home, both of which they should win, and which will secure them top spot. The Hawks are still likely to finish bottom four, but if ever there was a coach, a midfield,
Ep.20 - Carlton Crush Collingwood, Adelaide Overpower Port & More!
02-08-2023
Ep.20 - Carlton Crush Collingwood, Adelaide Overpower Port & More!
https://youtu.be/jMDrNAIog0M The Giants are sixth, the Blues are seventh, and the Eagles won! What the hell is going on?! Welcome back to AFL from LA. I'm your host, Cindye. I am standing here on the Sunset Strip, across the street from the Whisky A Go Go. Everyone from The Doors, to Led Zeppelin, to Guns N Roses have played there. And as you might be able to see, Tim McGraw is doing a private concert there next month.  Collingwood v Carlton No Walshie, Kennedy, Silvagni, Harry, or Cerra for a half. No worries! The Blues said hold our beers this time while we beat a full strength Collingwood at the G in front of 85, 000. The Baggers would not be denied. Led by superstar forward and part time shampoo model, Charlie Curnow, who kicked six straight. I mean, he's scoring more than Harry Styles at an after party. And I think the Blues have now unveiled the blueprint of how to beat the Pies. Fast corridor footy. Relentless heat around the contest. And tagging superstar Nick Daicos. I thought Jack Martin was brilliant. While Newman, Doc, and Sexy Saad were generals down back. And the Blues midfield owned the contest. For the Pies, I loved Howe's move up forward. And Billy Elliot's mark was a screamer. But other than McStay and Markov, the rest of the Magpies went missing. The Pies have been the benchmark team this year, but they've also been outplayed in large patches. And with two of their remaining games being played away. Wait, both of their away games are at the MCG? How can that be? And they don't leave Melbourne again this year? I think we just found another blueprint for the Pie's success! Getting to play 14 games at the MCG!  Geelong v Fremantle In a touching tribute to Kane Cornes, Alex Pearce played the captain's game of his life to lead Freo to their second straight win against the Cats in Catland. My sources tell me that Peter Bell is currently at AFL House trying to get Freo's last four games played in Geelong. The Dockers snapped their four game losing streak by bringing back their star recruit, Pressure. It was Pearce, I mean fierce, and it was for four quarters. They shut down Geelong's entries and locked the ball inside forward 50 like rabid madmen. Oh, and did you see that goal by Fast Freddy in the pocket? The Purple Ones have now beaten Melbourne, Sydney, and Geelong on the road, proving that their best is good enough to beat just about anyone, anywhere. Losing Mundy and Fife from the midfield has been significant. But being the second youngest list in the comp, I think consistency is just around the corner.  Western Bulldogs v GWS Seven wins in a row for the Giants for the first time in club history. And it's nine wins in nine different venues this year. They were six goals down against their arch rivals at the Ballarat Kennel without their star midfielder, Tom Green, again, and they came back to win by a kick. I don't know how my neighbors didn't call the cops. The game was on in the middle of the night, and the amount of screaming coming out of my living room was ridiculous. I thought the Giants were dead at halftime. Yeah, Cal Ward had gone to The Bont and shut him down. But Libba and Treloar were still running riot. But something happened in the third. Some 5 foot 11, 84 kilo, hashtag superstar named Toby Greene. Just give them the All Australian captaincy now. But they won't do that, will they? I loved the way he could barely breathe during the interview after the game. At the other end, Sam Taylor once again demonstrated why he's the best defender in the game. While Buckley, Whitfield, Toby 2, and Haynes were all rock stars. Sarcasm alert. Thanks, AFL, for scheduling the Dockers game at the same time as GWS's game. Hashtag winning move. Also, hashtag winning move to Luke Beveridge, who shifted Rory Lobb into defense instead of Aaron Naughton. Psst, Bevo. In case you didn't know, Aaron Naughton used to play in the backline, while Rory Lobb... is Rory Lobb.  Shoutouts
Ep.19 – Collingwood & Port’s Thriller, Carlton’s Demolition of West Coast & More!
26-07-2023
Ep.19 – Collingwood & Port’s Thriller, Carlton’s Demolition of West Coast & More!
https://youtu.be/lxhFWwgcZOo AFL fans, I ask you to join me in a moment of silence to honor an old friend of ours, Holding the Ball. This week marked its untimely demise, joining its long lost cousin, the Dissent rule, in the great Rulebook in the sky. May they rest in peace. And may their memories be a lesson to us all. In the great game of footy, nothing is sacred. Welcome back to AFL from LA. I'm your host, Cindye. I'm standing here in front of the Manhattan Beach Pier, where movies such as _Starsky and Hutch_, _Falling Down_ and _Point Break_ were filmed.  Western Bulldogs v Essendon Luke Beveridge's hand is shaking with relief after the Bulldogs trounced the Bombers by 41 points. It's the Dogs 9th win from their last 10 outings against the Dons. At this point, seeing the Bulldogs on your schedule feels for the Bombers like seeing your ex at a party. You know it's going to be a world of hurt. The odds of public humiliation are high. And no matter how hard you try, you can't escape it. The game was played in perfect conditions under the roof at Marvel Stadium. But for the Bombers, it felt more like being trapped in a Stephen King novel. And that novel was titled, _Libba: the Tattooed Terror_. The inked one racked up 39 disposals, 8 score assists, and 12 clearances. But what was even more scarier than that Bulldog? A Bulldog named Bontempelli. The Bont completely dominated the game, with 29 disposals, 2 goals, and 8 inside 50s. The Bont is the LeBron James of AFL at the moment. And then, there's Jake Stringer. Jakey, baby. What's going on? Two years ago, you, The Package, were Essendon's weapon. You catapulted them into finals with your dazzling talent, but now, The Package is missing in transit. Lost in the mail. Come on, Jake, you're so much better than this. Richmond v Hawthorn A team trailing by 5 goals at 3 quarter time, only to come back and snatch a 1 point win with only a minute left to play happened again. No, not Collingwood, silly. That's later. Richmond. Yes, heart attack football is catching faster than the flu, with Andrew McCloseone having a serious case of it. The Young Hawks completely dominated the first 3 quarters. And Captain Sicily equaled the Intercept mark record again! But the young Hawks folded like a cheap lawn chair when the heat came in the last. Led by Liam Baker, who has clearly been watching Jamie Elliott highlight reels, Daniel Rioli, and Tim Taranto, who scored his third goal of the game. It's the third game this year that the Hawks have lost by less than a goal. And while 2023 is going to see them finish bottom four, 2024 is most certainly not. For the Tiger Army, you guys are just percentage points outside of the 8. But with games against the Dees, Bullies, and Port in the run home, making finals is going to take even more Andrew McCloseone heart attack football.  Carlton v West Coast West Coast Eagles 8.5 defeated Carlton 6.5 at Marvel Stadium. Wait, no, that was the second half, Cindye. The West Coast Eagles 10.9 outscored Charlie Curnow 10.3! Come on! At least let me have that one. Alright, alright, the Carlton Blues demolished the West Coast Eagles by 12 goals. With superstar forward and owner of curls even better than mine, Charlie Curnow kicking a personal best 10 goals. I gotta admit, I was completely wrong about this one. I told my Carlton bestie, Blue Abroad, that Carlton was only gonna win by 5 goals. He hid his laughter like a true gentleman, but quietly added, Charlie's gonna kick ten. Well played, Terry. Well played. I thought it was also gentlemanly of Carlton to rest Cripps and Cerra for this game. However, I thought it was downright disrespectful not to rest Charlie Curnow. The Eagles would have been right in it! Okay, Cindye, back to Planet Earth. The Blues took their foot off the Eagles throat in the second half after suffering injuries to Jumping Jack, Walsh, Motlop, and Cincotta. Bad, Petrevski-Seton. Carlton now sit ninth.
Ep.18 - Carlton Crushes Port, Brisbane's MCG Agony Intensifies & More!
19-07-2023
Ep.18 - Carlton Crushes Port, Brisbane's MCG Agony Intensifies & More!
https://youtu.be/uzKk0Yf4Yn0 I'm gonna say what everyone's thinking, but Melbourne won't dare say. Dees are better off without Brodie Grundy. Sorry, handsome. Welcome back to AFL from LA. I'm your host, Cindye. I am here at the world famous Santa Monica Pier. Many of you might recognize it from awesome movies like Iron Man, Rocky III, and Forrest Gump, where, spoiler alert, Tom Hanks ends his famous run at the end of the pier.  Sydney v Western Bulldogs AFL officials were seen warning the Bulldogs and the Swans that their game was up against Wimbledon, the Tour de France, and the _Barbie_ movie, and told them they needed to keep things bloody close or else. Boy, did they. That game was tighter than a pair of Nathan Buckley's jeans. Tom Papley, celebrating his 27th birthday, decided to gift himself four goals and led the Swans to a two point nail biting victory. In the presser, John Longmire revealed that Papley had suffered cracked ribs earlier in the season. When asked whether it was due to Papley's post goal celebrations, Longmire declined to comment. The Bulldogs started strong, taking six marks inside 50 and kicking five goals. Their handball game was slicing through the Swans like an American through a buffet line. But young Swan Errol Gulden said, Enough is enough, and went to work. The Gulden child was everywhere, like a Kardashian on social media, racking up 30 disposals, 7 tackles, and 7 score involvements. What was crazy is how Longmire decided to go into the game without his number one ruckman, Tom Hickey, to face a Bulldogs team with Tim English. Despite Big Tim getting 60 hit outs, 15 to advantage, and the Bulldogs winning clearances by 18, the Swans still won. I think the Swans could have just killed the Bulldog's finals chances. And didn't the Bont know it? He looked angrier than a kid who got socks for Christmas. Did you see the way he threw his mouth guard? Ouch.  Melbourne v Brisbane I was watching this game and I thought, Holy shit, the Lions are actually gonna win one at the MCG. And then, they didn't. Brisbane, like Steven May, got Melksham'd. The Dees forward fooled everyone, kicking three out on the fulls in the first half, to shake any Brisbane interest in him, then kicked the match winning goal with only 30 seconds left. Sneaky magic trick, Jake. Brisbane, however, had an even bigger magic trick. It's called the disappearing lead. The Lions led by four goals with just six minutes to play. And blew it! Instead of keeping their foot on Melbourne's throats, Fages decided to park the bus and defend the lead. I guess we have to credit the Briz for finding new and exciting ways to lose at the MCG. They've been doing it since 2014 now. Have to give more credit to Simon Goodwin, though. He chose to play Christian Petracca mostly forward in a demon side with no Clayton Oliver in the midfield. The Trac kicked four goals for the second game in a row. I mean, he's gonna have to go in for scans of his shoulders the way he's carrying the Melbourne forward line at the moment. And who was Trac giving the loser sign to at the end of the game? Probably BT for another awesome call. Gotta give props to Viney and Rivers in the last quarter. And Big Maxy Gawn, who made the Big O look about 5'7 and left no doubt that he's still the top dog. I mean demon.  Carlton v Port Adelaide The team written off more than Tiger Wood's cars this year is back. Carlton pulled off their best win of the season, notching their fourth win in a row by 50 plus points. Shit, they've got the Eagles next week. It was the first four quarter performance against a quality opposition that I've seen from the Blues in ages. I mean, Port are the real deal, like top two flag contender real deal. But the blues said no interstate team is going to win ten in a row at Marvel on our watch. Then Carlton players started dropping faster than my Wi Fi connection. Owies went down just minutes before the game.
Ep. 17 - Carlton’s Perth Triumph, Collingwood's Strategic Masterstroke & More!
12-07-2023
Ep. 17 - Carlton’s Perth Triumph, Collingwood's Strategic Masterstroke & More!
https://youtu.be/u61NiiUpbCc What does it mean when a team can lose hit outs 70-18, 20 of those to advantage, and still win clearances and the game? AFL fans, help this American understand what she's missing. Welcome back to AFL from LA. I'm your host, Cindye. I am standing outside of CBS Television City. The list of shows that have been filmed here are way too many to mention, but I will tell you that the Price is Right shot here for 52 years, up until last month. Richmond v Sydney The Tigers proved that accuracy is overrated, kicking at 43% and beating the Swans by 13 points. The Tigers couldn't match the Tigers in the second half. They got smashed in clearances and handled the wet about as well as a laptop. They won just one center clearance in the second half. What's up with that? The Tigers sit just two points out of the eight. A position more coveted than the last beer at a barbie. And with games coming up against the Eagles and Hawthorn, the Tiger Army could be on the march in September. Except they're going to be without Nankervis for at least three weeks. His hit on Lloyd was worse than De Goey's on Hewett. What the hell was the big Nank thinking? The Tigers have the Dees and the Bulldogs in the next month, which means Brodie Grundy, Max Gawn, and Tim English. And without big Nank facing them, finals for Richmond could be a pipe dream. Sure glad I'm not Big Nank trying to get a coffee on Punt Road right now.  Western Bulldogs v Collingwood Collingwood discovered yet another way to win. Lead in the second half. When questioned about the Pie's new innovative strategy, a Bulldogs representative said, We're also thinking about trying this new lead in the second half strategy. It could work better than our current one of celebrating each goal as if we just won the game. The Bulldogs came out snarling, kicking 3.1 from their first 7 inside 50s. The Pies eventually scored after 20 minutes thanks to Jamie Elliott. Funny, I think Jamie Elliott would have an easier time scoring. Things went off the rails for the Dogs when they coughed up six goals to one in the third. Things went off the rail for Rory Lobb when he showed up at Marvel. He amassed zero goals, zero marks, and nine disposals, none of which were from inside 50. I mean, what do he and Bevo talk about during the week? Besides that he looks so much better with his natural hair color. Daicos's N and J were great. Shocking. As were Markov, Pendles, and De Goey. But hottie of the week was Isaac Quaynor, whose intercepting across halfback was... spectacular. The Pies are now a lock for top two and maybe even the flag. You think Round 19 between the Pies and Port's gonna be big. Wait till Round 28, the Grand Final.  St Kilda v Melbourne Melbourne defeated St. Kilda despite being outnumbered by the Saints medical staff. Talk about a war zone. Max King lasted about as long as a Hollywood marriage. Then Seb Ross and Zaine Cordy quickly followed. I heard Jobe Watson say after the game, The Dees won off the back of their ability to defend. Because saying they won off the back of the opposition being down three men, just wouldn't sound as smart. Christian Pertracca, who had kicked 12.9 for the season and 0.4 in last week's game, obviously changed his acupuncturist this week, nailing four straight from his 20 disposals. The Trac was awesome. If he can keep going forward and score, he's going into Dusty territory. It was great to see Jack Steele back to his best for the Saints. As well as Wanganeen-Millera continuing to shine. But for my U. S. dollars, no Saint was sexier than Rowan Marshall. The Dees are now one game clear in fourth spot. While the Saints are fifth, level with the Bulldogs with a slew of teams breathing down their necks. I loved their spirit against the Dees. But if anyone's gonna drop out of the eight, I think it's gonna be them.  Fremantle v Carlton It was the Blue's third straight win by more than 50 points.
Ep. 16 – Port Snatch a Thriller, Melbourne’s Troubles Deepen & More!
04-07-2023
Ep. 16 – Port Snatch a Thriller, Melbourne’s Troubles Deepen & More!
https://youtu.be/fKZidI233vw The Swans kicked at 25% accuracy. The Cats at 37. And AFL fans kicked their TVs at 100% accuracy. Welcome back to AFL from LA. I am your host, Cindye. I am here in downtown Hollywood. The Capitol Records building is right behind me. Legendary artists from Frank Sinatra and Michael Jackson to Paul McCartney and Bob Dylan have all recorded there. It was a round of meh, and a round of holy shit!  Brisbane v Richmond Determined to prove the theory that the bye should be taken out back and shot, Richmond started completely lethargic and only kicked one goal in the first half. This left the AFL scrambling to find new excuses for the bye, and footy fans scrambling to switch over to the Ashes. The loss was Richmond's biggest since 2016 and ended the three game winning streak under Andrew McQualter. Eagles fans began calling for his sacking and a complete review of the club. Hugh McLuggage and Lachie Neale were stand out performers for the Brisbane Lions. And Joe Daniher kicked five goals. I mean he could have kicked more, but you know, he's Joe. He's a strange cat. The win against the Tigers helps with their push for top two. But so what? The grand final is still played at the G. A venue that strikes more fear into Lions' hearts than a zookeeper with a tranquilizer gun.  Sydney v Geelong Draws can be exciting games of footy. But not this one. The grand final rematch proved that you can spend hours running around a football field and accomplish absolutely nothing. It was the worst primetime game I've seen since, since Thursday. The Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my. The Swans started strong. But then they began missing shots like the bad guys in John Wick. The first quarter alone, they had nine shots on goal for only one conversion. I'm talking to you, Papley, McDonald, Gulden, Amartey. But the worst offender of all was Isaac Heeney. He kicked 0.2, 3 out on the fulls, and clipped both behind posts at one end of the ground. I think we can all agree that the real loser of this game was football itself. Essendon v Port Adelaide Houston, we do not have a problem. Dan Houston kicked a 55 meter bomb in the wet to crush Essendon's soul and take the Pear to 12 straight. Talk about a heart stopper, there were 8 lead changes. My Apple Watch counted me watching the game as a workout. If it's a Port Pies Grand Final and the game is decided by a umpire review after the siren, I don't know if the MCG, let alone Australians with heart conditions, could take it. I thought the Bombers were really good, even great at times. Merritt, Caldwell, and Phillips led the way, while Ridley nullified Todd Marshall and Kyle Langford kicked three goals. Speaking of goals, Parrish missed two absolute sitters. Two meter Peter was kept to zero. And Wiedeman went goalless again! That's five games in a row! Sam! Sweetie! What's going on? With seconds to go, I really thought the Bombers were gonna hold on. But in footy, as in life, it ain't over till the fat lady sings. Or in this case, Dan Houston takes his kick after the siren.  Eagles Shoutout And just a quick shout out to my Eagles. You guys showed up and I stayed up till 2.30 in the morning! I couldn't believe that this was the same team that played last week. You guys showed spirit and effort and I for one was really proud and I'm looking forward to watching this rebuild.  Melbourne v GWS The Giants came from behind to beat the Dees and to move to one game outside of the eight. Toby Greene, Tom Green, Nick Haynes, Idun, Callum Brown. And what about the other Toby? Toby Bedford! And that clutch goal from 65 meters out by Josh Kelly to win the game! And then it started. “There's not a statistic Melbourne didn't win except for on the scoreboard,” said a visibly confused Dermot Brereton. Cam Mooney added, “The Dees were a better side statistically, except for when they were in front of goal.” Footy fans, are you tired of watching a game and knowing who's...
Ep. 15 – Fremantle’s Triumph, the Crow’s Collingwood Curse & More!
27-06-2023
Ep. 15 – Fremantle’s Triumph, the Crow’s Collingwood Curse & More!
https://youtu.be/SV8W0ki8r0c Eric Hipwood tried a daring new strategy called “kicking straight,” and he nailed four goals. It's this innovative thinking that has been missing from his game all year. Rumor has it all teams are now starting to explore this new strategy of kicking more goals than points. Fascinating.  Welcome back to AFL from LA. I'm your host, Cindye. I am here in West Hollywood in front of the world famous Troubadour. It was the first place that Elton John ever played in the United States. And it was one of the few places that John Lennon got kicked out of for being too drunk.  Geelong v Melbourne It was the Rohan Rampage, first taking out his own teammate, and then taking out the entire Melbourne team. He kicked three goals, and what ahead of hair on that guy? Do you know how many women would kill for that hair color? The Cats trailed by seven goals at three quarter time, and then when on to kick six in a row. I heard that Chris Scott said there'd be no more feline treats unless they pulled off the win. Works with my cats. Tanner Bruhn and Brad Close led the way for the Cats, causing thousands of football fans to frantically Google their names. The Dees seemed interested in kicking the ball pretty much anywhere except between the big sticks. They've now kicked 8.13, 8.18, and 8.15 in their last three games. It seems like the Demons have gone pear-shaped the last five weeks. Clayton Oliver?! Clayton Oliver? Anyone?  St. Kilda v Brisbane Back-to-back losses for the Saints. For the first time this year, they've now lost four out of their last six games. Despite Ross the Boss's halftime adjustments, which included a PowerPoint presentation called, “Scoring: A How-to Guide,” the Saints just couldn't pull it together. The last time the Saints won a flag, the Beach boys were at the top of the charts. Other things that happened in 1966: the mini skirt was invented and Batman premiered on tv. I really feel for Saints supporters. Hi, Eric. I mean, there are 57 year olds that have never seen their team win a flag. For the Lions, it was a solid team performance at their home away from home. They monstered the Saints around the ball, and they won the territory game. The Lions are so hard to read. They've won their last seven of eight at Marvel, but they've lost 12 straight at the MCG. Until they can break the MCG hoodoo they're just making up the numbers in the top four.  Fremantle v Essendon Dockers won a first quarter! That's right, Freo discovered that pressure isn't just something you put in tires. I mean there's the Freo Dockers and then there's the Sean Darcy Dockers. Pull out your checkbooks, Freo, and re-sign Mount Darcy right now. He is to Freo what Nic Nat is to the Eagles. Was to the Eagles. Ugh. Eagles. With Mount Everest in the team, Brayshaw and Serong start getting 60 plus disposals. And Action Jackson gets to go to town, playing wherever the hell he wants. I'm saying it here and now. Forget Grundy/Gawn, Darcy/Jackson is the most lethal big man combo in the comp. Freo, lose Sean Darcy at your own peril. For the Bombers, Peter Wright was kept goalless by Alex Pearce. And it's the fourth game in a row that Sam Weideman hasn't kicked a single goal. In fact, the Bombers didn't even have a single multiple goal kicker. The win against the Bombers was not Freo's best. But it was a huge step up from last week. And with a winnable game coming up against the Bulldogs, the old heave ho might be back on track.  Collingwood v Adelaide Who needs Netflix when you've got Collingwood? I mean, that second half was the best game of football I've seen since, since the last time Collingwood played Adelaide. Adelaide once again made the fatal mistake of leading at three quarter time. Collingwood just shrugged and said, hold our beers while we snatch this. I heard one Crows fan say that they lost to Collingwood just to keep Port off the top of the ladder.
Ep.14 - Port Adelaide Surge, Fremantle Flop & More!
20-06-2023
Ep.14 - Port Adelaide Surge, Fremantle Flop & More!
https://youtu.be/TXXdjjKaPyg What the hell is going on with this dangerous tackle nonsense? Jarrod Berry got reported for that? I heard he got off, but seriously, why did the umpire even pull out the book for that? And three weeks for Rhyan Mansell? And three weeks for James Sicily? If things keep going this way, AFL's gonna be a knitting circle by the end of the season. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to AFL from LA. I'm in Utah! I had to come out for the weekend. I'm standing here in front of the State Capitol in Salt Lake City. I considered taking a bye. I mean, if the players get one, why can't I? But I was gonna miss you guys too much, so I decided to do a shorter version of the show. AFL from LA “On the Road.”  Port Adelaide v Geelong Geelong versus Quinton Narkle's hair. Are Port managing to fit a hairstylist into their soft cap? I mean, this golden Patrick Swayze-esque, luscious locks just blowing the wind. 11 in a row for the Power. Or as I've been told, the "Pear." Thank you for teaching me the Australian pronunciation, my Port Adelaide friends.Port are for real. Their seven gold third quarter blew the Cats outta the park and showed the difference between a top eight team and a top two team. To win a flag, you need a core of your team having career-best seasons. Safe to say, guys like Finlayson, Powell-Pepper, Butters, even Houston are doing just that. Once again, Jeremy Cameron went missing. He looked like he was looking for a contact lens on the field more than playing a game of footy. I think Chris Scott was actually thinking the same thing as me. Did you see that spray he gave him at three quarter time? Ouch. Big shout out to Patrick Dangerfield, who suffered a cracked rib and a collapsed lung and continued to play. When Americans ask me how tough AFL is, I point to stuff like this, and they always say the same thing, “No padding?!” So I'm saying it here and now, it's gonna be a Port Pies grand final. Ooh, port pies. That sounds yummy.  Brisbane v Sydney Brisbane versus the goal posts. Brisbane kicked 13.19 against the Swans in a showdown of mediocrity. Talk about another primetime snooze fest. Who knew Friday night games could be so boring? Sure, the Swans showed some grit and tenacity and managed to stay in the game against the top 4 team, but if Brisbane had kicked straight, that game would've been over way sooner. And are the Lions a top 4 team? They did enough to get the win, but still not enough to get the stink off from last week. And yeah, they haven't lost a game all year at the GABBA, but they haven't done enough to convince anyone that they're a flag contender.  Carlton Shoutout Before I get to my third hot take, I just wanna give a shout out to the Blues fans. Welcome back to the winner's circle, Carlton!  GWS v Fremantle The Giants emerged victorious with a score of 16.10 to Freo's participation certificate, 5.6. The Giants did their best Collingwood impression, bringing finals-like intensity, and never taking their foot off their opposition's throats for all four quarters. It was Freo's biggest loss under J Lo, almost 12 goals. That's the same number of first quarters they've lost this season. Memo to J Lo. The strategy of losing first quarters is daring, but it's not working. You guys start slower than a semi in a snow storm. Conversely, it was GWS's best performance of the year, especially Hottie the Week, Greene. No, I mean, hottie the week Kelly. No Brown. Hottie of the week Riccardi. They all starred! Freo can't welcome back Sean Darcy soon enough. And their forward line can't welcome back some more Luke Jackson soon enough. It's the difference between their best, which is as good as anyone's in the comp, and they're worst that really concerns me. The Giants have had their most consistent year ever under Adam Kingsley. And with their youth and top end talent, they're going to be the team to watch in 2024. The Giants have kind of stolen my heart.
Ep. 13 – Richmond Roars, Carlton Crashes & More!
13-06-2023
Ep. 13 – Richmond Roars, Carlton Crashes & More!
https://youtu.be/zqxd2Nek2Zc Zak Butters is the best player in the competition. Look, I love Nick Daicos. I had him at number one. But Butters is the complete footballer. Elite skill, two-way running, will to win, and tough as. He had Libba the legend scratching and clawing at him and he still found a way. Butters may look like my high school English teacher, but I think the Brownlow is his to lose. Hello, friends. Welcome back to AFL from LA. I'm your host, Cindye. I am standing across the street from Akbar, which is a local favorite here in Los Angeles. Pride month is in full swing, and as you can see behind me, they are lining up to get it.  Hawthorn v Brisbane Brisbane Lions, if you're sick of hearing about how you can't win at the MCG, here's an idea. Win. You guys haven't won a home and away game there since 2014. Talk about kryptonite. Brisbane's lack of defensive run was on full display again. Lazy. Apart from Josh Dunkley, it looked like the rest of the midfield was perfectly happy to win contested ball and then stop for a flat white. Full credit to the young Hawks, though, whose transition from back 50 to forward 50 was absolutely blistering. I'm loving young players like Newcombe and Worpel, who turned the game around in the second half. Once again, the knives are sharpening for Chris Fagan. I mean, he's a class act, but I do not see how he's gonna survive another failed run at finals. Damien Hardwick, anyone?  Sydney v St. Kilda Thursday night football is back, folks. The game was a great advertisement for rugby, cricket, curling, pretty much any other sport other than Aussie Rules Football. A big congratulations to Buddy Franklin, who played his 350th game. But Saints Defender Callum Wilkie crashed the party like a drunk uncle at a wedding, keeping the champ to only two goals and just six disposals. The Saints, led by Owen, Phillipou, and Wanganeen-Milera, brought a level of pressure that the Swans just couldn't match. It seems like the Swans have escaped the scrutiny of the media this year. They were grand finalists last year, and they have completely fallen off a cliff. I think they have Carlton to thank for that. Poor Blues. Fremantle v Richmond I thought Richmond weren't supposed to win close games? That's now two in a row. What does caretaker Coach McQualter know that Hardwick didn't? Are we now calling him Andrew McClose-one? But seriously, Shai Bolton. What a second half. Maybe the most clutch performance I've seen all year. The pressure from both teams was huge. It was a much needed pallet cleanser to the Eagles replay I had to suffer through. The Tiger's ability to weather the Docker's first quarter pressure was impressive. And Freo's second half comeback had me jumping up and down in my seat. And how awesome was it to see Dustin Martin and Nat Fyfe lining up against each other in the middle? Bolton, Martin, Taranto, and Prestia. They were just too good. They relished the conditions and they took the pressure to insane levels. And how the hell do you beat a team with Martin and Bolton playing that well? But I think the most head turning thing was seeing the free kick count at three quarter time. Richmond only had three free kicks. Are we saying that one team only infringed three times during three quarters? And in those conditions? Maybe I'm just an American still learning the game, but I'm struggling with the umpiring this year. I hate to criticize, cuz I'm sure they're doing their best, but man, has this game just gotten too hard to umpire? Or is there just too much room for interpretation? Let me know.  Western Bulldogs v Port Adelaide 10 in a row for port and nine in a row at Marvel. Are we now calling it Marvel-aide Oval? Ken Hinkley has gone from untenable to 10-in-a-row-able. What a game. I mean, with 10 minutes to go, it was anybody's. But once again, Butters, Rozee, and Horne-francis found that gear. The Bulldogs were super competitive,
Ep. 12 - Pies Costly Win, Suns Burn Bright & More!
06-06-2023
Ep. 12 - Pies Costly Win, Suns Burn Bright & More!
https://youtu.be/yN9JxHrXx7Q What is with all these primetime games for Carlton? They've played eight so far this season and they've got six more. Really, AFL? Are you trying to ruin everybody's Friday and Saturday nights? Hi, and welcome back to AFL from LA. I'm your host, Cindye. I'm here at the world famous Paramount Studios on Melrose Avenue. Some of the most exciting games of this round came from teams outside of the eight. Geelong, GWS, Richmond, Suns, North Melbourne, even the Eagles! I, for one, would like to see more of these games broadcast at primetime. Anyway, here are my hot takes for Round 12.  Carlton v Melbourne The skills on display were pre-season level. Or is that insulting to pre-season? Melbourne should have kicked straight. They could have won by five goals, maybe even more, but of course they didn't. They kicked at 38% accuracy. Carlton's goal tallies from the last few weeks have been 8, 6, 7, and 8. And that's with two Coleman medalists on their team. Sure, Mckay kicked three, but did you see what happened when he tried to kick a drop punt? And that snap from 40 out? Enough already. There has to be a goal kicking camp, college, something. These guys are full-time professionals, they're getting paid big bucks, and they can't execute a basic skill of the game. And look, stop calling from Michael Voss's head. The Blues had talented lists under Teague, Bolton, Ratten, and Malthouse, and nothing was different. Maybe it's time to start pointing the finger someplace else.  Eagles v Collingwood The Eagles were in front for a glorious 4 minutes and 36 seconds! It was the closest 10 goal win I've ever seen. For two whole quarters, and with three players down, the Eagles had the better of the best team in the comp. Full credit to the Pies, though, they're number one for a reason and they did what they had to in the end. So the Pies are about to lose their star midfielder, dirty De Goey, who added another tattoo to his left arm: a permanent imprint of Elijah Hewett's face. His hit on the 18-year-old was disgraceful, but I gotta ask, where was the Eagle's response? Only a single player, Greg Clark, confronted De Goey. I shudder to think what a John Worsfold or Beau Waters would've done. De Goey would've been looking over his shoulder for the rest of the game. This is a real shame. Not only is Hewett concussed and is going to miss at least one game, but De Goey was playing career best football. He's cost himself a shot at the Brownlow and has compromised Collingwood's best 22. The only question now is: how many weeks will he be spending in Bali? GWS v Richmond Who said Richmond aren't supposed to win close games? And who said GWS will finish last? Talk about entertaining, that game was a ripper! I'm showing all of my American friends this one as an example of why AFL is the best game in the world. The Giants had an incredible 70 inside fifties compared to Richmond's 47. But their efficiency inside 50 was only at 47% compared to Richmond at 66%, thanks to Jack Riewoldt, who thought it was 2016 all over again, taking eight marks and kicking five goals. I mean, apart from one big loss to Collingwood, GWS has been the most competitive team outside the eight. Kingsley has them playing four quarter football, which is something they've never been able to do. They're clearly playing for him. And with all the youth coming up, I'm really excited. Orange beasts.  Western Bulldogs v Geelong The Bulldogs kicked straight. Straight to Tom Stewart, that is. All day. The Bulldogs won every stat against the Cats except for the one that counts the most, goal kicking. Inaccuracy, once again, cost a team a game. Jamarra and Naughton are both averaging less than two goals a game. And it seems they're always leading to a pocket or kicking from too far out. Is this a leading patterns thing or simply where the midfielders are delivering the ball? Either way, it's not holding up and it's not gonna hold up in ...
Ep. 11 – Cats Lose 3 Straight, Dockers Slay Demons & More
30-05-2023
Ep. 11 – Cats Lose 3 Straight, Dockers Slay Demons & More
https://youtu.be/HoeeunKpEtA GWS are now lobbying AFL to relocate them to Kardinia Park. They've won three of their last three games there. 10 clubs have not won in Geelong in the last 15 years. What does GWS know that they don't? Welcome to AFL from LA. I'm your host, Cindye. I'm here in front of Prospect Studios. Fun fact, they used to shoot “General Hospital” here.  Sydney v Carlton Carlton's promising start to the season has faded faster than a politician's promise. They had 60 inside fifties for only six goals. That's as efficient as, well, Carlton in round 1, 2, 3, 6, 9 an 10. Curnow and Mckay combined for 1.6. Charlie started strong, playing higher up the ground and taking some great marks. But Harry, whew, he looked lost, kind of like a vegan at a steakhouse. Since his new contract, his accuracy is only at 34%. Pre-contract, he was kicking at 52%. Does Harry have a fetish [00:01:00] for behinds? Cripps had only 19 touches, while Sydney's Chad Warner had 29 and two goals. But it wasn't all doom and gloom for the Blues. Walsh had 31 disposals and eight inside fifties, and Jacob Weitering kept Buddy goalless. Full credit to Sydney, though. They stood up when it counted most, led by Warner, Gulden, and Nick Blakey. Man, he was zipping down the field like a teenager who was just given the keys to their father's car. Once again, the heat's coming for Michael Voss. But hey, it took Ted Lasso three years.  Melbourne v Fremantle Luke. Action. Jackson. Melbourne must have felt like they were seeing their ex at a party with someone new and realizing that they were hotter than ever. Even more impressive was the fact that after Sean Darcy did his hamstring, Jackson was forced to take on Gawn and Grundy on his own, and he beat them both. That's right. He beat Grundy and Gawn on his own. Freo's forward line is looking really promising. Treacy is growing every week. Keanu, I mean Banfield, is really stepping up, and Jye Amiss, is this guy the Pavlich replacement that Freo has been looking for? Freo have delivered once again on the big stage, taking a top four scalp at the G, and proving they are finals contenders.  Geelong v GWS Is GMHBA Stadium now GWSGMB … Greater Western Sydney, without Sam Taylor, Josh Kelly, Harry Himmelberg, and Nick Haynes beat Geelong in Geelong. Superstar and Hotty of the Week, hotty of every week, really, Toby Greene played his 200th game. There was no way these guys were gonna lose on his 200th game. That signals to me respect for their captain. And as a captain and a leader, you either have it or you don't, and Toby Greene has it. Man, not only did the Giants withstand the Cat's last quarter fight back, they kept going. Adam Kingsley just told them to just play like their lives depended on it. And they never stopped fighting and they never stopped trying to score. Whitfield, Green, and Ward were all awesome, as were Daniels, Riccardi, and Hogan. And let's not forget Idun down back. And what about Briggs in the ruck? The plus side for Geelong was the debut of Irishman, Mullin. There were four Irishmen out on an AFL field. The last time four irishmen played on an AFL field, it was a U2 concert.  St. Kilda v Hawthorn Pissed off by all the attention Darcy Moore received last week, James Sicily decided to one up him and play perhaps the best game of his career. Sicily had 15 disposals in the last quarter alone. And a one game suspension for belting Caminiti. Is James Sicily the new Darcy Moore? Will Darcy Moore respond by getting 50 disposals next week? The Hawks outplayed the Saints for three quarters. The way they move the ball does not reflect a team sitting at 16th on the ladder. If this is tanking, then Sam Mitchell is doing a terrible job. Adam Simpson, on the other hand, he's doing just fine. Harley Reid, anyone?  Adelaide v Brisbane Is South Australian football now the most watchable in the competition, with Rashele, Rankin, Rozee, Horne-Francis, Butters.
Ep. 10 – Melbourne Go Missing, Essendon Strike Back & More
23-05-2023
Ep. 10 – Melbourne Go Missing, Essendon Strike Back & More
https://youtu.be/FO4ZUoLi5YA If you had told me that Port, missing, Dixon, Marshall, and Rioli, were gonna beat Melbourne, I would've told you that the Eagles were gonna win the flag this year. And I probably wouldn't have put that hundred down on the demons.  Welcome back to AFL from LA. I'm your host, Cindye. Sir Doug Nicholls Round. I mean, I couldn't get enough of it. The jumpers, the painted shoes, the ceremony. Sad that I gotta wait another year for that to come around again. So here are my hot takes for Round 10.  Fremantle v Geelong Freo has now won three in a row and has kicked over a 100 points in each game. Freo's midfield are mauling opposition midfields. Without Dangerfield and Cam Guthrie, it was like the Cats had been declawed. And for the second week in a row, Jeremy Cameron went missing. While the delivery to Tom Hawkins was more like the Eagles delivery to Oscar Allen down in Tassie. Freo have made the switch to fast ball movement, which has allowed them to have quality inside 50s. And with jets like Young and Frederick providing outside run, J Lo has no excuses for not being able to make a run at finals. Flagmantle, anybody?  Essendon v Richmond Essendon finally stood up and said, Nobody puts baby in a corner! Wait, that's not right. Nobody beats us 14 times in a row. Credit to big time players, Tippa and Stringer, for coming alive in the last quarter. Merrett was best on ground with 39 disposals, 7 tackles, and 5 clearances. Brad Scott, why is he so grumpy? Richmond has now lost nine and drawn three of their last twelve close games. Does that make them the most un-clutch team of the competition? I think Richmond's season is over and I think the rest of the comp is breathing a sigh of relief that they won't have to meet them in September.  Port Adelaide v Melbourne Melbourne needs to be reminded that the game is played over four quarters and not just one. And there's this little guy named Zak Butters that they might wanna put a little work into. Butters played one of the best games I think this American has ever seen. He took on perhaps the best midfield in the game, in the rain, and destroyed them. I'm not sure why Melbourne went into this game as favorites. They've only played 2 top eight teams. They lost to one of them and they would've lost to Gold Coast if it wasn't for such terrible umpiring. And if Melbourne lose to Freo this week at the G, they should definitely be behind Collingwood, Brisbane, and Port Adelaide for flag contenders. Port have now become as entertaining as the Pies to watch. They nullified May and Lever, keeping Melbourne to just 41 marks, the lowest ever under Simon Goodwin. Does this mean Hinkley gets his contract extension? “Ken” more years? Do we get to watch more of his little happy dance?  Carlton v Collingwood Onto what promised to be the blockbuster game of the round, Hawthorn versus Eagles. I mean, Carlton versus Collingwood. Collingwood possess this rare, magical thing called Darcy Moore. Moore was best on ground, with 25 disposals, 10 contested, and 11 intercept marks. It's an AFL record! I heard Michael Voss was about to make another excuse during the postgame and apparently Darcy Moore intercepted that. The Blues clearly thought that Moore was wearing a Carlton jumper, as they were kicking everything to him. Likewise, they thought McKay was wearing a Collingwood jumper, as they kicked hardly anything to him. Carlton just couldn't handle the Pie's pressure and they couldn't win the ball at the source. I was constantly yelling out, Who's Defending?! Pendles and Sidebottom had 20 uncontested possessions. In the first quarter! Sidebottom, by the way, is a freak of nature. He's played 300 games and he covers the ground like a 20 year old. I'm already looking forward to his 400th. Collingwood now have a two week bye. And by bye, I mean they play North Melbourne and then the Eagles. Carlton plays Sydney and then Melbourne.
Ep. 9 - Carlton at the Crossroads, Richmond’s Ancient Strategy & More
16-05-2023
Ep. 9 - Carlton at the Crossroads, Richmond’s Ancient Strategy & More
https://youtu.be/NwM9f6fzl0c What is going on in Carlton? Carlton had 29 inside 50s in the first half and only scored a single goal, and that's with Curnow and McKay up forward. It's like having an all you can eat buffet and only eating the breadsticks. Is it the coach's fault? I think so. They clearly have the talent, but not the system. Welcome back to AFL from LA. I'm your host, Cindye. I need to give some props to Jack darling. Listen, I know he's not living his best footy life at the moment, but he fractured his arm and he played the rest of the game. That's some like next level shit. So, JD, I hope you heal well and we hope you get back to playing your best footie ever. So here are my hot takes for Round 9. Carlton v Western Bulldogs  Blues have now lost four of their last five games. The only time they looked exciting is when they threw the game plan out the window and went fast. They kicked six goals in a row and the Bulldogs could do nothing about it. Cripps, once again, just completely disappeared against a good midfield. He had zero tackles, zero. He's not running both ways. He's not being accountable. Blues have Collingwood in Melbourne in the next three weeks, which could completely crush their finals hopes. The Bulldogs, on the other hand, could totally match it against Brisbane, Melbourne, the Pies. They have a real shot at top four. Richmond v Geelong The Tigers resorted to an ancient strategy called pressure. They forced Geelong to kick the worst I've seen all year. Their delivery to Tom Hawkins was absolute crap, and the Tigers scored 10 goals from turnovers. The Cats forward pressure with Rohan and Stengle out was non-existent. If you give a team like Richmond time and space to exit D50, they will slice right through you. Another thing that put Geelong under pressure was the umpiring. I hear you can never blame an umpire for a loss, but as an American, I really think you can. Cats were missing nine of their best 22 players, including Dangerfield and Cam Guthrie. I think the result might have been a bit different if they had those two beasts on the field. But I'm not writing off Geelong. With the number of players they have coming back, I still think they're a contender for top four.  Sydney v Fremantle For the first time this season, Freo looks like they have a forward line. Treacy, Amiss, and Jackson kicked seven goals between them and Lachie Schultz kicked four. How amazing is this guy, squeezes every ounce out of himself, competes, tackles, and gets the job done. Luke Jackson had his second great game in a row. And let's talk about Treacy's work up the ground, six marks, four tackles, and he's played his best game that I've seen from him so far. But Sean Darcy is the beast who started it all. 9 clearances and 44 hit outs. If Freo can keep this up, they may be able to make a run at the finals. Swans, on the other hand, have lost their best three defenders, their home field advantage, and their edge. They're gonna miss out on the top eight. Sorry, Bloods. Adelaide v St. Kilda The Crows jumped back into the eight. They kicked their highest score under Matty Nick's, while the Saints suffered their biggest loss under Ross Lyon. Tex Walker kicked five goals and is aging like a fine Barossa Cabernet. He's nearly unstoppable one-on-one. Luke Pedlar, not only is he a gun forward, but he's a bull in the midfield. Plus, they had 12 individual goal scorers. And Adelaide's ball movement is three dimensional. They can run and carry, they can hit short targets by foot, and they can go long down the line to reliable targets. Matty Nicks, he's created a real winning system. Unlike the Saints, who have a good defense but struggle to kick a score. If you're going to challenge for the flag, you have to be elite at both. I think Adelaide are.  Collingwood v GWS I'm trying to find a weakness in Collingwood's game. I just can't. And they're doing it all without their number one ruckman or...
Ep. 8 - Carlton’s Crisis Intensifies, Adelaide’s Brave Stand & More!
09-05-2023
Ep. 8 - Carlton’s Crisis Intensifies, Adelaide’s Brave Stand & More!
https://youtu.be/AIL7WHHAm28 What is this epidemic with inaccuracy in front of goal? Do kids grow up not practicing set shots anymore? Does everyone just wanna kick around the corner? I don't get it, because it seems if you kick straight, you win. Hello, and welcome back to AFL from LA. I'm your host, Cindye. We're back here in beautiful Beverly Hills on this very windy yet sunny day. We're on Santa Monica Boulevard. Rodeo Drive's just a couple blocks away. What a great weekend. There were some great games. There was a lot of movement in the competition. Essendon and Adelaide both fell out of the top eight this week, but do not count them out. Big questions over umpiring and goal kicking inaccuracy—it gets worse every week. But anyway, onto my hot takes for Round 8. Carlton's Crisis Intensifies Carlton fans may have left at three quarter time, but they stayed longer than the players. Carlton fans, I feel for you. The most talked about team in the media and they're chronic underperformers. It's like they need a collective Viagra. They have some real players—Walsh, Curnow, Cripps, sexy Saad. But I have to ask, are any Carlton players taking a step forward this year? I mean, is Cripps really at the same level as the Bont? As Oliver? Neale? And then it seems the gap between their best players and their role players is huge. I was thinking that maybe the Carlton team needs to be tested for color blindness. See, you guys are blue, but you kept kicking it to the red. How can you win if you kick it to a Brisbane player every time you come out of defense? Josh Dunkley not only was best on ground, but he's Hottie of the Week. 33 disposals, 14 contested, 13 tackles, 6 clearances, and a super scalp, Patrick Cripps. Umpires v Gold Coast Umpires 13.12 defeated Gold Coast 13.7. I feel robbed, and they're not even my team. With 20 seconds to go, McPherson had a chance at winning and he missed. People! Inaccuracy! You cannot win games if you can't score goals. Gold Coast were super impressive. They were matching it with the Dees for all four quarters, and that was without hotties Weller and Miller. Stewie Dew would be super proud and he'd also be, as you Aussies would say, spewing, because the Suns whipped the Dees in many key stats. He'd also be super spewing because of the horrible umpiring. Ugh! They were robbed. I mean that free kick to Melbourne when the margin was only eight points, and Swallow being held and not being paid, and Chol being bumped out of the marking contest in the dying moments. It truly seems like umpiring is getting worse. Am I wrong? Do I not know the game well enough? Let me know in the comments. Adelaide's Brave Stand Adelaide had a few problems. Fogarty was not at his best, Rashele was quiet, but the Crows, with five 20 year-olds on the team, never gave up. To be in it with a chance of winning with three minutes left is the very definition of an honorable loss. So biggest issue, quite frankly, was the umpiring. Controversial non-calls to Keays and Pedlar could have cost them the game. But Geelong—they were too skilled, too experienced, and too attractive to the umpires. In all seriousness, though, Geelong supporters should be very proud. Despite constantly being called pensioners, Geelong is proving over and over and over that they're contenders for the flag. And here's hoping that Paddy Dangerfield's hamstring injury is minor, minor, minor. Adelaide ended Geelong's 120 plus scoring streak, they came within 20 seconds of beating Collingwood last week, and they came within a couple of umpiring calls of beating Geelong this week. Are the Crows the real deal? Yes, I think they're the real deal. There, I said it. The Return of Nat Fyfe So a better performance this week by the Eagles, and a great fight from GWS, who ultimately could not beat Bontempelli and Tim English, I mean the Bulldogs. But the bigger story this week was the Docker's return to the winners list. Freo won their first 1st quarter this season.
Episode 7 - Pies Thriller, Curnow Magic, Plus Much More!
02-05-2023
Episode 7 - Pies Thriller, Curnow Magic, Plus Much More!
https://youtu.be/QCwar1Y4JxQ Toby frigging Greene. I mean, oh my God. I was watching this game in the middle of the night and I swear to God, I woke up the entire neighborhood. His ability to win the contest at the most crucial moments is ridiculous. Even Dermott called it. He said, You better watch Toby here. GW S'S last four wins against Sydney were won by 1 point, 1 point, 2 points, and 2 points. I advise anybody with a heart condition to not watch the next Battle of the Bridge. Hi, and welcome back to AFL from LA. I'm your host, Cindye, and as you can see, I'm standing outside of the Greek Theatre. It's an awesome, awesome spot. And if you're ever in town, I highly recommend you see a show at this location. You won't regret it. Was it just me or is 2023 like the most competitive season to date? There are five teams that have 20 or more points. If your favorite team is not going to be a contender, Eagles, and then your second favorite team is also in the dumps, Fremantle, then you can just sit back and watch it and relax and enjoy everything as it unfolds. So anyway, here are my hot takes for round seven. Charlie Curnow v West Coast Eagles Charlie Curnow 9.3 (57) defeated the Eagles 6.8 (44). Eagles fans, tired of honorable losses, were finally served a dishonorable loss. North Melbourne fans cheered with delight as Eagles took the mantle for the worst team in the competition. Round seven last year, Eagles lost by 109 to Richmond to go to the bottom of the ladder. Round seven this year, they lost by 108 to Carlton, also at home, to go to the bottom of the ladder. Where is the progress? But props to Carlton, who had a great week, and hopefully they can parlay that win into more wins in the coming weeks. St. Kilda v Port Adelaide Eight in a row for Port at Marvel Stadium. They're gonna start asking to have the Showdown played there every year. Port are looking rock solid. They've won four in a row, with a 5-2 record. They beat the Saints and the umpires, with the free kick count at 28-14. Is there something wrong here? They also had less disposals, marks, stoppages, and inside 50s, and they still won. And what is with the boos for Jason Horne Francis? I mean, what has he ever done to you, St. Kilda? St. Kilda were five and one going into round seven last year, and they were five and one going into round seven this year. Think I've seen this movie before. Brisbane v Fremantle So, Freo's ball movement in the first quarter was a huge improvement. And if they could have converted, they might have been able to put some score on the board and put some pressure on Brisbane. But the result became as predictable as their inside 50s. Seems they just don't have the skills to execute a fast game plan, and they got smashed at clearances again. And without big targets to kick to, what's the point? I mean, where's Josh Treacy? With Luke Jackson not really firing yet and Taberner out injured, Treacy must be in line for a recall. The upside, though, Michael Walters kicked the goal of the year,Hayden Young continues to shine, and Matt Johnson could be a real player. But Freo have now lost 11 first quarters in a row. 11. That's a trend that cannot continue. Adelaide v Collingwood So the geriatric men of Geelong did what they had to do to stop the ever improving Essendon. The Hawks showed spirit again, this time against the Bulldogs, while the Suns, without Touk Miller, pissed off half of Victoria by beating the Tigers. But the game of the round and probably 2023 was Collingwood's win against Adelaide. The Crows led for 99.9% of the game, but Collingwood, doing what they do, came back from behind to snatch victory with 20 seconds left. 20 seconds. It was Collingwood's best come from behind win since, well since last Tuesday. To win after a five day break, on the road, against a quality team and the worst umpiring I've seen all year, that is crazy good. Adelaide went super defensive at the beginning of the last,
Episode 6 - Is this the Fix for the Eagle's Injury Crisis?
25-04-2023
Episode 6 - Is this the Fix for the Eagle's Injury Crisis?
https://youtu.be/Wm2Xet6wQrc Hello and welcome back to AFL from LA. I'm your host, Cindye, and I'm here in front of Marshall High School, which many of you might recognize from various TV shows and movies such as Grease, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Nightmare on Elm Street. So ANZAC Round. As of right now, there are two games left to play in the round, but who had St. Kilda, Adelaide, and Essendon on their Bingo card? I mean, who thought they would be top four? So here are my hot takes for round six. Freo v Rory Lobb Former Docker, Rory Lobb, facing off against his old team was an AFL grudge match to rival the Real Housewives of Melbourne. Freo fans relentlessly booed him while the players belted him and messed up his hair. After the game, Bulldog's coach, Luke Beveridge, said that Rory handled the pressure like a champ. More like a chomp who froze up and kicked 1.3. Freo coach, Justin Longmuir, said that the focus on Rory was not the reason for the loss. No shit. It was the game plan. Or lack thereof. Uh, hello, didn't we talk about this last week? Freo moved the ball way too slow out of the defense. They have no forwards who lead up at the ball, and they bomb to Walters, who as good as he is, cannot compete against three savages every time. Rumors are swirling that JLo's job is on the line. And I could have sworn I saw him logging on to LinkedIn during the fourth quarter. But there is some upside. Freo has a ton of young players, and if Luke Jackson actually starts holding a mark and they start moving the ball faster, things could turn around really fast. And I'm just thinking … does Freo trade Nat Fyfe to see what they can get? Tim English Trade Rumors Tim English. Wow. A little birdie told me that we might be seeing him in an Eagles jumper in the not too distant future. Eagle’s Injury Crisis In a turn of events that shocked precisely no one, captain Luke Shuey returned from injury only to re-injure himself. This adds to the club's already growing injury list of 18 players out, including Nic Nat, who we just found out is going to be out for another eight weeks. Eagle's strength and conditioning have started to explore other methods of training, which include bouncy castles, bubble wrap, and a strict no touch policy. The crisis at West Coast has gotten so bad that, just like Batman answering the bat signal, retired Will Schofield put on the cape and the boots and returned to the WAFL to make up the numbers. Eight kicks, three marks, and a goal. Nice work, Will. And maybe Will Schofield's return might inspire another retired superstar to come back sometime this season. Hi, Josh. Geelong v David King This week, Geelong told the competition to hold their walking sticks while they kicked Sydney's asses. I actually called Foxtel cuz I thought they were showing a replay of last year's grand final. It was only by not seeing Robbie Williams there that I realized my mistake. The Cats kicked 133 points in that game, and 130 last night. A step backwards, as David King would say. Since King pronounced the Cats dead a few weeks ago, they've kicked 120+ points in three consecutive games. All clubs are now putting in calls to David King to officially write them off as well. Adelaide/Hawthorn Heartstopper Adelaide fans are still checking their pulses after that one. It wasn't pretty, but Fogerty and Rankine got 'em the four points they needed, at an oval they hadn't won at in 18 years. Fogerty is becoming truly elite. And Rankine, who David King said was poorly advised to leave the Gold Coast Suns, is now becoming a superstar of the competition. And if he keeps this up, he's gonna have his own pocket at the Adelaide Oval named after him. (Love you, Eddie Betts.) And hottie of the week, Rory Sloane, had another huge last quarter. Hawks fans had every right to be pissed off at the end of this game, because it looked pretty clear to me, and I think everyone watching, that there was a blatant in-the-back free kick that was not called in fron...
Episode 5 - Are the Adelaide Crows the Real Deal?
18-04-2023
Episode 5 - Are the Adelaide Crows the Real Deal?
https://youtu.be/aKS4sVVwIPo Rory Laird and Jordan Dawson combined for a total of 69 disposals. 69! At one point I saw Dawson's boot actually apologize to the ball. Hi, welcome back to AFL from LA. I'm your host, Cindye. It's a beautiful 69 degrees here in Los Angeles, and I'm standing in front of the entrance to Griffith Park. So this week, the Gather Round. How awesome was that? It was so great to see all these teams descend upon Adelaide. Unfortunately, the Victorians had to get on a plane and fly somewhere else, which much to their dismay. But I thought it was great. Although I hear now it's gonna be in Adelaide for the next three years, which is completely puzzling to me. Why wouldn't they move it to Western Australia and then have it in New South Wales and, and move it around? At any rate, here are my hot takes for Round 5. Carlton’s midfield blues Carlton's midfield continues to underwhelm. 10 minutes in, and the Blues looked more like lost tourists. It was only by moving Cerra from the defense to the midfield at quarter time that helped to stop the Adelaide onslaught. And Cripps, Kennedy, and Hewett are like a boy band that only know one dance move: contested ball. And what's up with the game plan? Bomb it to Charlie and Harry and just hope to god one of them comes down with it? Given Carlton's age profile and the money they've spent, they should be competing for the flag. But I'm sorry, I'm not convinced. Are the Adelaide Crows the real deal? The Crows faced off against the Blues in the inaugural Gather Round, and it seems they took the gathering part a little too seriously, gathering the goals and the points and the contested possessions and leaving the Blues with nothing but shattered dreams. Adelaide's coach, Matthew Nicks, tried to downplay the team's performance. Said they're in a development phase. Yeah, they're developing something, all right. A taste for blood. The Crows are hosting their own edition of Australia's Got Talent, with young guns Fogerty, Murray, Thilthorpe, Murphy, Milera, and Rankin all firing and Crouch, Berry, Schoenberg, Golant, and Haley all trying to break back in. Three tough assignments loom: Collingwood in Adelaide, Geelong at Skinny Park, and St. Kilda in Adelaide. After that, we're gonna know if Adelaide's the real deal or not. Aliir Aliir! Aliir Aliir saved the day again by stopping a late goal from Aaron Naughton. Aliir seems to have a knack for being in the right place at the right time. Kind of like my bestie, Michael, who always has an icy cold bottle of Savs B waiting for me when I've had a shitty day. The Bulldog's game plan really should have been just kick it anywhere Aliir is not. Despite the conditions and the boos, Jason Horne Francis finally took off in the last quarter. He had 11 disposals, 7 contested possessions, 5 inside fifties, and 4 clearances. To celebrate, Ken Hinkley cracked open a full strength Pepsi. Port NOT having Rory Lobb proved to be the difference. Lobb continues to steal the show, proving the theory that smalls get one game to prove they can play, while talls get a hundred games to prove they can't. No Gawn, no Melbourne? Melbourne fans didn't seem that upset, saying that Melbourne's never been that good at Gather Round. They attributed their loss to having to play three games interstate in the last four weeks and called it a reality check. Wait a second. Wasn't the ass kicking in Round 2 from Brisbane your reality check? Oliver and Petracca played the worst first halves of footy that their fans have ever seen, while Essendon fans are calling for statues of Brad Scott. Personally, I think this is the most fun I've had watching Essendon since the doping. Lions roast the Roos Brisbane played champagne football in the heart of Adelaide wine country, roaring to a 75 point victory over the Roos. North Melbourne's midfield was stretched more than a pair of skinny jeans on a Fox Footy commentator. But there's no denying Harry Sheezel had another ripper of...