Robert and Ira… Dumb? Absolutely. Money? Not so much. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss DUMB MONEY and share their top greed movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a schlub with no money and you follow an obscure stock and tell people on YouTube to buy it and it shoots higher and higher and your followers, including a nurse and a hot lesbian couple, are buying more and more and the head honcho CEOs are pissed because they wanted to do a short sell but now they’re royally fucked and losing a shit load of big bucks, we’re talking hundreds of millions of dollars, and the server shuts down and people are pissed and panicked because they want to sell and now the feds are called in and you’re heralded as a financial guru and you buy your brother a cool car so he can stop delivering food, then this podcast is for you!

Most of the people who work on this show dream of a time when Robert and Ira are sent by themselves into deep space, never to return. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss SILENT RUNNING and share their top robot movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever murdered your crewmates to keep some Christmas trees alive, then this podcast is for you!

Last time Ira and Robert tried to drive a bunch of explosives through the jungle in the middle of a monsoon, they blew it up. That’s it. That’s the intro. They just didn’t accidentally blew up the explosives, and they failed at their mission. Why does every intro have to be funny? Can’t some intros just be an accurate reflection of what happened? Sheesh. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss SORCERER and share their top hidden gem movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a bad dude and a couple of really bad henchmen want you dead and you end up in a godforsaken village and you’re offered a job to transport a shit load of explosives to another town to put out a fire and they’ll give you a shit load of money and a passport and so you agree to do it and team up with three other nasty dudes and fix up a couple of wrecked trucks and off you go, and your truck barely makes it across a rickety bridge, and then you barely make it across another rickety bridge that’s falling apart in the rain, and some evil dudes rob you but you kill them, and some tree trunks block the road and you use the dynamite in the truck to explode the trunks, and the other truck blows a tire and swerves off the road and explodes, and you finally make it back to the bar and you ask an ugly woman to dance but the really bad henchmen who want you dead enter the bar, then this podcast is for you!

So many jokes to make about the Anti-wave boys and sex trafficking… and yet, we’re just going to ignore them all. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss SOUND OF FREEDOM and share their top movie campaigns. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a former government agent and you meet a father whose son and daughter were kidnapped and sold into child trafficking and you feel bad for the single dad so you go south of the border and help return the son, but that’s not good enough so once again, leaving your hot blonde wife at home, you go back out to get the daughter and you meet lots of mean dudes and you go to an island filled with kids that would make Jeffrey Epstein green with envy, but you don’t find the little girl and you go deeper into the Colombian jungle and you’re on a boat going down the river pretending you’re a doctor bringing medical supplies to the natives, and another boat takes you at gunpoint to their camp and the mean dudes are getting drunk while they sing and play the accordion and - voilà! – you spot the little girl and whisk her away, but the bad dudes come after you and with bullets whizzing all over the place you try to out run them, then this podcast is for you!

You're gonna want to armor up for this episode. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss a double feature SICARIO and SICARIO: DAY OF THE SOLDADO and share their top hitman movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a beautiful by-the-book FBI special agent assigned by the government to a task force to bring down the main leader of a Mexican drug cartel and you hate the unwarranted violence, and a police officer puts the make on you but he’s working for the cartel, and there are lots of bullets flying all over the place, and you discover the wife and daughter of one of your team members was killed by the cartel, and to get even he brutally kills the cartel’s wife and kids and then the cartel dude himself, and he forces you at gunpoint to sign a document that everything the task force did was kosher, and you have the opportunity to kill him, but you don’t… but wait, there’s more that happens and lucky for you you’re no longer involved when the dude who killed the cartel’s family now goes to Mexico to stir up trouble among two opposing cartels, and he kidnaps the daughter of a cartel kingpin but makes it appear it was done by the other cartel, and things get royally fucked up and the daughter wanders off in the desert and he goes after her and there’s more chaos and lots of bullets flying all over the place and good thing you’re not even in this part of the story, then this podcast is for you!

Funny, Ira also had pictures of an oiled up Reg Park on his bedroom walls. He spent hours and hours fantasizing about him, too. But then, Ira was never elected governor of California, either. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss ARNOLD and share their top rags to riches movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be born on a farm in Austria and you were in fierce competition with your brother and you got into bodybuilding, came to America, and became a popular action movie star with a thick accent, and you groped lots of women and smoked lots of cigars and you married a Kennedy and your brother and dad died, and then your mom died from the same heart ailment you once had but you had heart surgery and got better and became governor of California and fucked your maid and had a son and didn’t tell your wife, then this podcast is for you!

When Robert and Ira went to San Francisco to visit Alcatraz, all they came back with was a scorching case of herpes. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss THE ROCK and share their top ‘worse than you remember’ movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be an FBI agent who specializes in explosives and your girlfriend is pregnant and as you propose to her, you’re needed by the Government because an angry dude captured a bunch of tourists on Alcatraz and put them in prison cells and is demanding a shit load of money for the families of soldiers who died in covert missions, and he’s got missiles loaded with nasty shit that can wipe out San Francisco, and you go to a long-haired dude who is in jail because a covert mission backfired and he escaped from Alcatraz years ago and he helps you and your team break into the prison, but you get found out and the bad guy fires a missile but it goes off course and falls into the ocean and it was more of a bluff and he only wanted to threaten the Government to pay out big bucks, but then the bad dude’s henchman goes nuts and wants to destroy the city and you shove a green sphere of poison into his mouth and you fire the last missile into him and he gets blown to bits, and then you shove a long needle into your heart so the bio poison won’t kill you, and fighter planes are flying to Alcatraz to bomb the island and you hold up green flares which means to abort the bombing, and then you lie to your supervisors and tell them the guy who helped you out was killed so he can go free, then this podcast is for you!

The closest Ira and Robert ever came to being stranded was when they got stranded in a McDonald’s drive-through. We just called it Lord of the Fries. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss both versions of LORD OF THE FLIES and share their top island movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a school kid and you’re in a plane crash and you’re stranded on an island with your other classmates, and whoever has a conch is allowed to talk, and you help build a camp and with a fat kid’s glasses, you help make a fire and you hunt wild pigs and eat fish and make spears to hunt, but then you and the kids break into two groups and the other group with paint on their faces are violent and act like savages, and a storm destroys the camp and the savages put a pig’s head on a stick and kill a kid, and when the fat boy holds the conch and tries to talk sense to the two groups, the savage kids kill him and now they’re coming after you and you run and stumble and you look up at an adult soldier who asks, “Just what are you kids doing?” then this podcast is for you!

Willem Dafoe is an art thief who gets trapped and can’t get out? Sounds like he’s really stuck between a Rothko and a hard place. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss INSIDE, and share their top tall building movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be an art thief who breaks into a luxury high-rise to steal some art and the security code is wonky and things get wacky including no running water and the thermostat is all fucked up and it gets real hot in there, and you cool off by shoving your face in the refrigerator and licking the sides of the icebox while forced to listen to the Macarena and your only friend is the cleaning lady who you watch on a video monitor, and it rains so you collect water to drink and you build a makeshift platform to chip away at the skylight and remove the bolts and you fall off the mountain of crap, and you trip out on hallucinations and set off the fire sprinkler and you’re drenched and now skin and bones, then this podcast is for you!

This episode has got more slaps than a bottle of ketchup at an all-night diner! Join Robert and Ira, along with their special guest film professor Eric Swelstad, as they discuss THE OSCARS and CHRIS ROCK: SELECTIVE OUTRAGE, and share their top slap movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a famous comedian who gets slapped at the Academy Awards, and one year later you decide it’s time to present your comedy special where you talk about our need for attention and being a victim and the Kardashians and you finally talk about the joke you said last year and how Will Smith thought it was funny but when he looked at his wife, he snapped and stormed on stage and slapped the shit out of you, and you blame Will’s wife for the brouhaha because she’s a thug and had sex with her son’s friend and Will had to be all macho and shit, and now one year later you’re finally lashing back, then this podcast is for you!

Did you know that the bear in this week’s movie was once owned by Tom Sizemore? The crew didn’t even have to provide drugs for the animal. It was method acting. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss COCAINE BEAR and share their top five … surprise movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a big-ass bear living in the woods and a shit load of cocaine falls from the sky and you eat it and get fucking cray-cray and kill people, and you attack a cute hiker in shorts and white socks and rip her apart and eat her, and you terrorize a girl and boy, and then you attack and devour a couple of forest rangers, and while the girl’s mother searches for her daughter, you go after the drug smugglers who are there to find the missing bags of cocaine, and everyone thinks you’re dead but you’ve only collapsed on this dude and your vagina is in his face - that’s right, you’re a female bear - and you climb a tree going after the boy but then you rush to the other tree because the dude has cocaine and you bite off some of his fingers, and you have little baby cubs who are also wasted but cute and there’s a big standoff at a waterfall at night with the fucked up bear, the mother and her daughter and the boy and the stoned cubs, then this podcast is for you!

We couldn’t have a change of body, so we settled for a change of scenery in this episode. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss SECONDS and share their top ‘body change’ movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a middle-age banker with a wife and daughter and your life is mundane and without passion, and you get a phone call from an old friend who tells you to go to a laundry and the man there sends you to a meatpacking factory and you go into a room where a man explains how you will have a new appearance and a new life and your old self will die in a hotel fire while he eats chicken and then blackmails you, and this other old dude convinces you to sign, so you have the surgery and you are now a young hunk of a man and you become an artist and you move into a cool house in Malibu and your butler wants you to meet your neighbors and you hook up with a sexy woman who takes you to a weird-ass hippie party with lots of grapes and wine and you host a party and get drunk off your ass and nearly blow your cover, and you visit the woman who was your wife and you want to go back to the way you were and you meet the guy who got you into this big mess and things really spiral and become a major cluster fuck, then this podcast is for you!

Better bring a ladder to this episode, because we’re reaching new heights!  Join Robert and Ira as they discuss APOLLO 10 1/2: A SPACE AGE CHILDHOOD and share their top kids’ POV movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a kid growing up in Houston in the late ‘60s and your dad has a not very interesting job at NASA, and you’re told by NASA officials the space capsule they built is too small to hold an adult astronaut, so they need you to ride it to the moon and it’s a covert operation so you can’t tell anyone, and you also reflect on what it was like growing up at that time and reminisce about sneaking into drive-ins with your family and playing with fireworks and riding in the back of trucks and all the TV shows including The Monkees and Janis Joplin on Dick Cavett, and so you went to the moon but you can’t tell your family, and finally it’s the big day of the Apollo 11 launch and you’re glued to the TV with your family watching Walter Cronkite, but of course you’ve already been there done that, and on the other big day when the astronauts set foot on the moon, instead of watching TV, you’re at an amusement park with your siblings riding a really cool ride on tracks in a fake mountain, then this podcast is for you!

Everyone warned us that this movie only takes place in one location. But when they said Brendan Fraser sits around the house, they really meant he sits around the house! Join Robert and Ira as they discuss THE WHALE and share their top fat movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be mega huge and morbidly enormous - I mean, we’re talking a gigantic slob of a man with rolls of fat - and you’re a writing teacher and you’re gay, and you left your wife to fuck a male student who died, and your daughter and ex-wife are uber-pissed, and your caregiver, who is also your best friend and your only friend, watches as you shove hunks of chicken and pizza into your mouth, and you Zoom with your writing students and tell them to be honest when they write but your camera is turned off, and your daughter shows up and she’s an angry bitch and she wants you to pay her to visit you and write her school essays, and a religious dude drops by who tries to get you to embrace God, and then your ex-wife shows up and she’s a piece of work, and you tell your bitchy and manipulative daughter to write anything as long as it’s honest and when you Zoom with your students you turn your camera on and show them your disgustingly fat body, and your daughter forces you to stand up and walk toward her and you die, then this podcast is for you!

The last time Robert and Ira climbed a mega-tower, Ira said, “This view is breathtaking!" Robert replied, "Yeah, and it would be even better if we weren't standing on the bottom rung of the ladder!” Join Robert and Ira as they discuss FALL and share their top stuck movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be rock climbing with your husband and he falls to his death, so you get drunk and lash out at your dad and you can’t move on with your life, but your girlfriend talks you into climbing a tall radio tower and you’re scared shitless but up you go, then at the top the rusty ladder gives way and you and your BFF are stuck up there with no cell reception because you’re up too high, so you lower your cell phone on a string but that doesn’t work, and you look down and see some punks steal your car, and you find out your BFF was fucking your sweetie and your leg is all fucked up and crows are trying to eat you, then your BFF lowers herself to reach for a drone but the battery is dead, so you climb up to the very top with its blinking red light, unscrew the bulb, and use that to charge the drone, and the small plane flies to get help but just before it lands, it gets hit by a truck, and it turns out you were hallucinating and your BFF is dead, and you eat a vulture, shimmy down to your dead BFF, stuff the cell phone into her carcass and toss her off the tower, then this podcast is for you!

This week’s movie really ‘bridges the gap’ between audiences and high critical acclaim! Join Robert and Ira as they discuss CAUSEWAY and share their top change of behavior movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a female soldier stationed in Afghanistan and you got fucked up in the head with mental issues and you go back to your small town and clean swimming pools and meet a black dude and you hang out together and smoke pot and he’s kinda into you and you tell him you’re gay and he asks if you’ll move in with him, but you want to get all better so you can go back to Afghanistan, and when you’re in a swimming pool and the black dude tells you a very personal story, you kiss him but only because you feel sorry for him, so he’s all pissed and then you decide not to go back to Afghanistan and you ask the dude if you could move in with him, then this podcast is for you!

This week’s episode comes at you hard, liked a runaway train… Join Robert and Ira as they discuss DEERWOODS DEATHTRAP and share their top train movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a parent and you’re recounting a story about how 50 years ago, you, your spouse, your four-year-old son, your infant daughter, and your elderly mother are driving a car over train tracks and your car gets stuck and a big ass locomotive is hurling toward you and your family and - boom! - the train slams into your car, and if listeners want to find out what happened to you and all the members of your family packed into the car, then they can either watch the 9-minute movie or listen to this podcast!

What kind of amateur tries to break into the porn industry and only stops at two dicks in the butt? Gotta go three, at least. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss PLEASURE and share their top ‘in-over-their-head’ movies. Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a hot sexy blonde from Sweden who comes to Los Angeles to be a porn star, and you go to photo shoots and parties and try to be an A-list porn actress but get rejected and you do some BDSM hard-core shit and get slapped and spit on so you leave your manager and call your mom and walk along the beach, and you get fucked in the ass by a couple of black dudes, but when you wear a collar and a leash, you kinda throw your roommate under the bus and she tosses you out of the house, and you go to a major porn expo in Vegas and get humiliated because a hot brunette says your pussy smells so you grab a strap on dildo and fuck her, and then you tell the driver to stop the car and you get out, then this podcast is for you!

This episode may seem like it’s a mess, but trust me, it’s all going accordion to plan. Join Robert and Ira as they discuss WEIRD: THE AL YANKOVIC STORY and share their top 5 weird movies.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be a weird kid who likes to make up goofy lyrics to songs, but both of your parents think you’re freaking nuts, but mom buys you an accordion anyway, and you meet this DJ who becomes your manager and invites you to a pool party and all your heroes are there including Divine, Pee-wee Herman, and Tiny Tim, and your novelty song with your goofy lyrics gets played on the radio and Madonna hits on you so her songs will be more popular with your goofy lyrics but Michael Jackson takes your “original” song and does his own version of it, and you and Madonna go to some Third World country with lots of trees and meet with a drug lord, then you drink a lot, have a meltdown, turn on your bandmates, drink more, crash your car and almost die, and your dad explains his backstory, he grew up in an Amish community and also played the accordion and got ridiculed, so he didn’t want you to go through all that shit, and then you perform at a huge concert packed with cheering fans and the drug lord kills you, then this podcast is for you!

This week’s episode is perfect for a long road trip! Join Robert and Ira as they discuss WATCH OUT, WE’RE MAD! and share their top 5 comma titles.  Listen for free through iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or Google Podcast Music.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be one of two brothers, and you were pissed at each other, but after 25 years you put aside your grudges and reunite to get back what you care about the most: your father’s beloved dune buggy which was stolen from you both many years ago, and you hang out in a circus and meet a mean fucker who slaps your face a lot and a hot brunette who throws knives at you, and you and your brother have a big fight, but you make up and become even closer, and there is a big fight in a swimming pool with a bunch of baddies, and just when you finally reclaim your father’s beloved dune buggy, the hot brunette steals it and drives it away, then this podcast is for you!