A manifesto is a list of principles to help guide you how you want to live each day. Maybe you’ve made one before and didn’t even realize it. Today I’m sharing my parenting manifesto and showing you how to create one of your own.
You’ll Learn:
- What a manifesto is and why it is so helpful in parenting
- The commitments behind my parenting manifesto
- What I would add or change if I wrote mine over again
- How to create and use your own parenting manifesto
I first went through the process of creating a manifesto in a business coaching program years ago. And I realized that, if raising my children is the most important thing in the world to me, I also wanted to have a list of principles to commit to as a parent.
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The Calm Mama Manifesto
This manifesto is included in the Calm Mama Handbook that all of my clients get. You can also click here to download a printable PDF.
This particular manifesto is not our family’s. It is mine. This is what I wanted to commit to as my kids’ mom. It’s also represents what I help other moms do inside my programs.
Parenting is my opportunity for growth. I wanted to look at this experience of raising children as an opportunity to become a more whole and healed person. To invite learning in and not fight against the obstacles that come with parenting.
Demonstrate love without condition, no matter what they say or do. I didn't want to be a parent that only showed love, kindness or care to my kids when they were being good. I would not just love my kids. I would demonstrate that love, and I would never pull it away.
Listen with curiosity and compassion. I wanted to commit to listening to my children and being curious about their lives, their thoughts and their interests. I chose to think that they are really interesting people and to listen to them because I want to get to know them. I also wanted to listen with compassion to understand what is driving their behavior.
Model work, play and rest. I wanted to be a parent who showed them what hard work looked like. I also actively chose to be a playful parent and bring in strategies that teachers would use to connect and play with kids. And I let my children see me rest.
Provide. I always say that you can give your kids access and opportunity, but you can’t make them take the opportunity. My manifesto includes providing food, shelter, education, opportunity, support, advice, guidance, modeling and love.
Take care of myself so they don’t have to. My mom didn't always really take good care of herself, and she allowed her health to deteriorate, which created problems for me in adulthood. I decided I was going to be healthy and strong. I would eat well, move my body, manage my stress, have a good social life and have meaning and purpose in my life.
Be comfortable with my kid’s discomfort. No matter what is going on for them, no matter how overwhelmed or stressed or sad or mad or hurt or confused they are, I am going to be okay with the mess that they bring to me. I'm not going to let it rile me up or tip me over. I’ll be the anchor in a storm of their life.
Show up for them, not for me. I didn't want to make their life about myself. I wanted to parent for them; not because I got something out of it. They have a whole life and a whole set of choices that I actually don't control. I'm letting myself
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